The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/14/06
The daughter's "lists" are a bit too long - three or four tops. You could break up the daughter's reasons with a little more imput from mom, even an attempt at interrupting the "flow" would be good I think, a "but…" or "listen here …" Mom saw the light at the end, though I was almost expecting the daughter to decide not to go when: "The smile that filled her face almost made me want to change my mind. She was happy! I could be abducted, lose my virginity to some guy I meet on the beach, or worse! What was she thinking!? I lost the wind in my sails." That was an interesting touch. Good work.

02/15/06
This was cute - and I remember using similar tactics at that age. A slower change of mind for the mom might be more realistic, but overall, this was a fun, creative take on the topic.
I liked this...makes me feel like an overprotective mom because those arguments would not have worked with me!! LOL.
02/16/06
I really got caught up in this story, thinking it would be great for a teen magazine, but have to admit I was a little disappointed at the end. Obviously, the daughter deep down wanted to be stopped, but Mom gave in. I was hoping she'd talk herself into making a good decision. Good dialogue, and well-written, though.