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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Control (01/30/06)

TITLE: Can't Hurt
By Sally Hanan


Iím so good at self-control.
Thank-you Lord, that Iím so good.

Whoís that man over there?
I can see him out of the corner of my eye.
Oh heck, Iíll take a peek Ė Oh boy!
Thank-you Lord for such an incredible creation.
That silky hair and,
oh my gosh, look at his bone structure.
Heís looking my way.
Canít hurt to smile back.

I think Iíll say hi,
Say itís nice to meet him.

Heís going to sign up for worship.

I think I will too.
Mattís always been bugging me to join.
Canít hurt.

Canít hurt to take his phone number.
If I could just bring him home
instead of only meeting up for worship practice;
weíd sit at the table in the kitchen.
Heíd keep staring into my eyes
and smile at me, the way he does at church -
makes me feel like the most gorgeous woman in the world.

If I was married to him Iíd walk on air every day.
Weíd do everything together,
and heíd be such a great dad to my kids.

Oh yea,
theyíre not his.
No problem, heíd be great with them.

This isnít sin Lord,
Iím only thinking here;
my little fantasy world,
not hurting anyone.
Iím in complete control.
Mattís gone all day and night anyway
My life is so dull,
so boring.

I think Iíll call him.
Sitting here alone isnít good for me.
Canít hurt.
Itís just a phone call.

Listening to his voice is making my heart pound.
He wants to spend some time with me.
Itís only a walk in the park.
I need the exercise.
Canít hurt.

Now he reaches out to hold my hand.
Heís just a good friend.
This tingle going up my arm is just me being silly
Weíre just good friends.
I can tell him anything. He understands me.
Canít hurt.
Iím in control.

Heís emailing me -
talking about his life,
his day,
what he likes in a woman.
I think heís talking about me.
My heart goes thumpity thump thump. I feel like a schoolgirl again.

All I can think about is him:
looking into his face.
Up close,
feeling his arms around me,
kissing himÖ
Matt was never like this.

How will I ever know what Iíve missed all these years unless I grab this chance, this gift to me Ö Godís gift.

Iíve started telling Matt Iím going out with girlfriends.
We go for coffee and walks.
We even go dancing -
all things Matt never did with me.
I feel so alive;
Iíve never felt love like this before.
Iím so happy,
and God wants me to be happy.
I was never meant to be with Matt at all.
I want to be with this man for the rest of my life,
lost in this rhapsody of love.
Iím in control of this. I have Matt at home and love in my arms. I just donít love Matt anymore. I donít know if I ever did.

What?? Matt knows??
Who told Matt??

I never thought my best friend would do such a thing.

I sit here alone.
Iím such a fool.
Itís been Matt I really loved, all this time. That other guy used me.
Matt! Matt! Iím sorry. It went from one thing all of a sudden to another.
He seduced me.
It was all his fault.
He needed me, he made me feel special, you were gone, I couldnít help myself.

Yea, thatís it. I couldnít help myself.

This whole thing is out of control, and itís all his fault.

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This article has been read 1118 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Linda Watson Owen02/06/06
A seductive real life situation shown here in this creative entry. Very practical warning! Well done!!
Debbie OConnor02/07/06
Very unique, compelling and powerful. Well done.
Debbie Sickler02/11/06
Very good job at depicting the self deception that is involved with this kind of mistake. I enjoyed your format and liked how she blamed the guy in the end. Very realistic.
Lynda Lee Schab 02/11/06
I loved this entry! Very powerful. Realistic emotions and thoughts - isn't that just how the devil works. He deceives us into actually justifying our actions and truly believing that it won't hurt. Wonderful work. Creative and clever take on "Control."
Jan Ackerson 02/11/06
What a clever idea, to write this story as a stream-of-consciousness poem. Powerfully done.
Anita Neuman02/11/06
Wow! Great entry! Seeing it all put together so succinctly really emphasizes your point. And it's a vital message to anyone who's starting to think along those lines.
T. F. Chezum02/11/06
Very good. Very realistic on how people justify such little things.
Val Clark02/11/06
Yikes, you did that so well I was right inside her head! A hard hitting, effective look at how easy it is to deceive ourselves and then, when every thing falls down around our ears, blame somebody else. Yeggy
Beth Muehlhausen02/13/06
Wow, well done, Sally! Like a river, these thoughts flow along....leading to.....trouble! Well executed and totally believable.