The Official Writing Challenge
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Haha, brilliant and funny in a more subtle way. You captured the characters well, and gave an interesting take on the subject. Thanks
Powerful. I am not often moved to tears, but this one did it.
Oh, this is SO sad ... and yet so true...... It beautifully sums up 'control'. Aging ... ugh....

Well done - it is magnificent.
Yeggy, is this you? This is so well written, I want to cry because I feel your characters are real people. This is one that I will never forget.
This one hit close to home - I serve as caregiver for my mother who suffers from Alzheimers and she LOVES her ice cream. Thanks for misting up my vision.
Yeggy, this was a very good look into the experience of aging. You really expressed her thoughts and feelings well and brought me into her life.

I did have a little problem with this part though:

"Nathan doesn’t complain when he lifts me into the car but I feel his body stiffen. He is quick to take off his JUMPER and put it in the BOOT. He crashes the gears.

Narelle pats his arm and I watch the tension in his neck ease.

‘Next time we take Mum on an outing let’s remember to get the staff to put her in a NAPPY.’"

The words I put in all caps aren't used in the US, so it was a bit confusing. Also, the previous paragraph they had just started enjoying the beach. I was a little slow figuring out that he was putting her back into the car at the end of the trip. (Maybe I'd have figured it out more easily if it wasn't so late here. lol)

Otherwise, this was a very touching and insightful story. It reminded me of my great-grandmother who unfortunately didn't receive proper care in her last years.
Great POV. Heart wrenching, really. My sister-in-law works in a nursing home & is continually outraged by staff not taking the time to properly care for the patients. Sad that we don't even know half of what happens (or doesn't happen) in nursing homes around the world.
You've written a realistic piece and the reader can't help but connect with the old woman. Well done!
Stunningly written--and your last line was the clincher. I can see her, running into the arms of Jesus. Top notch!
If I could write prose like you do, Val, I'd use up every pen in the universe! I'm speechless!
This is beautiful and sad and hopeful and so well-written. Wonderful work!

('jumper' caught me off-guard, too, but 'boot' helped to clarify things so by the time we got to 'nappy' I was okay.) :-)
Powerful story. I also found my eyes clouded with tears...remembering the times...good & bad...near the end of my sister's life. Thanks.
This piece is dear to my heart as I have worked with the elderly in the past. Your story is realistic and thought-provoking. Well done.
One of the best entries I've read--you brought tears to my eyes. Sweet, poignant, intelligent and realistic. Well done!
This makes me think of both my grandparents who died 9 days apart in the nursing home a few years back. I was right there with you reading your well-crafted story. Great job describing the feelings of the caregiver and the aging parent. :)
I have to confess, I read about a third of the way through and had to begin to put my thoughts down. How sad and sweet! You captured the emotions of mother and daughter very well! You have also captured very well the indignity of having to stay in a medical facility. Having to depend on overworked staff for basic needs like going to the bathroom and being cleaned up afterwards. To be fair to the workers, they often have so many patients to have to care for, that they become a little rough and insensitive. Not totally uncaring, though. And I have played the part of the daughter feeling sadness and guilt, too. I liked the hopeful refrain of "Soon, child, soon." This gets my vote for one of the best of the week!
Extraordinary!!! Magnificent!!! Emotion, imagery, flow, character development....all wonderful. Touched me deeply with memories of my mother's last days with Alzheimer's.

There was an ice cream parlor down the street from my mother's nursing home...where for a moment as I fed her peppermint stick ice cream, something came back to life. My mother's bright eyes told me all was well. Within a few weeks of our ice cream party she met her Maker.
I've nursed elderly patients and I'm sure at times was one of those idiots that didn't understand. Very realistic and moving. And so nice to read "Jumper" and "Nappy". We use nappies here but wear a jersey. Nice to be reminded of my roots. Well done.