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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Control (01/30/06)

TITLE: A Spirit of Self-Control?
By Amanda D'costa


Ha! This is something I ponder upon. My life is a mixture of emotions. There are times when I feel happy, very happy, that I want to sing aloud. And then there are times of ‘depression’, wishing my life was different. Sometimes hate and anger gets the better of me that I react in vicious ways. What about the times that I dress against moral standards and behave in an abnormal way? Its times like this that I see Him, hear Him speak to me, hear Him tell me exactly what I am about to share.

“My dear, if I did not sacrifice, nor share, nor love my creation, everyone of you; if I did not share your sorrows, or feel your pain and grief, and not know what you feel at times when identity confusion creeps; then I should not expect you to follow suit. You have no part with me then; you are free to follow what your spirit feels.

But then, I am the potter, you are the clay, I made you, fashioned you, carved you on the palm of my hand, paid a ransom for your soul, DIED FOR YOU! I own you totally, to sum it up. Do I not have a part to play in your life then? For this, to make it easier for you, I give you my Spirit (free access to my online account); use whatever benefits it may offer. You will find it gives you power beyond control. A power you will never get elsewhere. Where you have to work your way up the ladder, sweating and sacrificing, reaching dead ends to achieve, I give you total freedom to explore. Just use the password “JESUS”. You’ll see it’s free to share with all.

Along with that, you’ll also be able to explore the arena of love. You’ll find that love might be a bit difficult to access, but then again, the same password “JESUS” applies. Using my name should get you through without difficulty. Explore, feel free, enjoy!

And finally, I give you self-control……..”

“Hey, wait Lord”, says I. “The power, the love…well, that’s fine by me. But come on…self-control? Do you really think I need it? After all, what do I need it for?”

And He just smiled and waited. His smile was enough to answer all the questions inside me… my need to control my ignorance, trusting in my Father’s wisdom, my need for self-control to curb my many desires, my need for self-control to understand that I am a person and just like me there are many others who are affected by what I do, think and say. I am responsible for my life and how I end up. I realized too that he made me with a particular sexual identity with the sacraments attached to it. I am a woman, not to be a lesbian, but a woman married to a man living in the grace of matrimony.

This is something, I realized, our Lord has very strong views on as He spoke to me…”I have made you in my own image and likeness. I have not made you an animal which has no control over its being, but I have made you with a heart to love, given you power beyond imagination and yes, a Spirit of self-control. There is no excuse for saying that you have no identity, and that your sexual orientations differ, but My Spirit gives you that strength to overcome all temptations, no matter what they be… to overcome the Spirit of this world. You have no part with the Spirit of power and love if you have no part in self-control. If you really want to access this privilege, just enter the password “Jesus”.

I then realized how simple it is for us to live in freedom, not worrying about whether what we do is done in faith, right or wrong. My life is not timid or scared or anxious anymore. I have accessed my new found account, free to share with all, the Spirit of the Trinity, the password being ‘Jesus’.

Oh! How foolish we are at times not to trust His power over sin. If only we’d offer our rebellious spirits and yield to the Spirit of Jesus!

“For the Spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead His Spirit fills us with power, love and self-control.” II Timothy 1:7
(Good News Bible – Today’s English Version)

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Member Comments
Member Date
Beth Muehlhausen02/12/06
Thanks for this transparent look at inner struggle. We must confront our rebellion and yield to Him.