The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/02/06
The message behind "the space between your teeth" ,"...the gunk can lead to pain...",is loud and clear.
Your starting with a question was briliant...the message becomes personal.
02/03/06
Hmmm, I liked this. Good analogy. I think it wouldn't have hurt to make it a little more obvious what the deeper meaning was so any reader could "get it."
02/03/06
Very nice analogy and made me want to go brush my teeth lol
02/04/06
ok ... I'm grossed out ... I gotta go rinse and spit! I kept hearing dental drills as I read! lol! But the message was right on. Ya done good!
You certainly got to the 'root' of the problem alright! :) I'm heading to the bathroom to floss again! At the end I thought you might compare the gunk to the sin in our lives, turning this into a devotional. It's valid as it stands though.
02/04/06
Brenda, I always love your work and this is no exception! Wonderful writing with a power punch to the heart. And a little grossness woven in too - just my kind of entry! LOL
02/04/06
Gross! But great! Loved the analogy and the way it was written. Unlike Lynda - gross is not my cup of tea - but good writing is. You made gross a good read. (did I mention this was gross? :) )(did I mention you made gross readable?)(that's pretty good!)
02/04/06
Very good... have to go brush my teeth now... where did i put that floss..?