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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Space (01/23/06)

By Donnah Cole


The walls were towers of immense proportion, substantial and powerful; carefully laid mortar and brick, a construction which obviously had spanned many years. In stark contrast to their enormity, was a minute space which they enveloped. Within that space, there was no room for much of anything except for what was located in the center...me.

My space had been erected with great purpose. There were no doors. Well...actually, that was an illusion to the onlooker. There was one door, one that could only be opened from the inside, one that I controlled. When I wanted to invite someone into my life, then I opened the door. If they ever bored me or offended me or didn't meet my needs, well...I just pushed them out and locked it behind them. Their feelings didn't matter; only mine mattered. Why would anyone expect any different? It was all about me anyway.

As far as windows were concerned, there were two. Both were one-way windows, one to keep an eye on those before me and one to watch my back. I became quite the expert at making my observations and judgments of others, but it was impossible for them to see into my space.

There was a time when others would stand at the windows, cup their hands around their face as they pressed against the glass, hoping to catch a glimpse of me. Their presence was too close for comfort, and so I became quite the seamstress as I whipped up a set up of thick woolen curtains and hung them for added protection. I kept them pulled together until I could stand it no longer, and then I would part their way allowing my eye to steal a glimpse of the world outside. It was a rather disappointing activity though as I began to notice that they weren't interested in me any longer.

Oh well...they didn't matter anyway. All that did matter was that I was comfortable...well, for a while anyway. But time kept passing, and I became more and more restless within my four walls. Anger and bitterness were my only company, and they smothered me. Loneliness joined them, and together, they all became oppressive. I began to gag on their stench. I told them to leave once and even pointed the way to the door, but they refused to go. So, I just wallowed with them in the decay. I didn't need people...I didn't need anybody...why...I had myself.

Decayed and without hope.

Until...I heard Him knock. The mire fell from me in great masses as I wasted no time in running to the door. Its hinges flew off as I flung it wide open, and the lock broke into tiny pieces as it shattered against a barrier wall. A crack split the cornerstone of the wall's foundation and ran its course toward its vertical end. The crumbling bricks crashed around me, but I was not scathed. The deafening noise of it all failed to scare me, for joy rang louder. Anger and bitterness and loneliness fled and I smiled as they did.

I stepped aside as He moved to the center of my space and said, "I have come that you may have life and have it more abundantly."

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Member Comments
Member Date
Shannon Redmon01/31/06
This is a beautiful portrait of how we often isolate ourselves from others but Jesus breaks down those walls to bring us life. I love the first paragraph describing the walls, also the description of the one way windows and door that only opened from the inside! Good writing!
Stevie McHugh01/31/06
This reminds me of how it felt to be without God and also how wonderful it was when Jesus invaded my space. Beautiful.
terri tiffany02/01/06
I loved your descriptions of oneself before Jesus. Wonderful ending! Very unique take on the topic. I enjoyed this.
Alexandra Wilkin02/03/06
Very good, and very incisive. God bless.
Maxx .02/03/06
"Their feelings didn't matter; only mine mattered." Contrast that with the hinges breaking at the end. Excellent transformation! Good job!
Cheryl Harrison02/03/06
Great portrayal of the human condition. We all are guilty of building walls around us - at least to some extent. You did a great job describing the turmoil. Keep writing.