The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/26/06
Ah, yes! The START of sin! Aside from the change in paragraph #5 from 3rd person to 1st person, this was well written and kept my interest throughout. Very creative piece of work. This "once beautiful Created Being" is now planet Earth's worst enemy, stalking us day and night! Well done!
This is very good creatively and you captured the thought process well, but the change in pov (from 'he' to 'I') threw me off a little. Nice writing however. God bless.
"For every occasion, there would have to be a
disguise." and "As soon as they ate my lie..."

I believe these words are the central truth of your story. Satan - the intentional deceiver.

Oh, how wonderful to know, "Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world." Thanks for sharing.