The Official Writing Challenge
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01/24/06
Intense writing!
Powerful!
01/24/06
This confused me. At first, I thought it referred to Jews in the concentration camps, but is it that this woman has murdered her daughter? There were some awkward sentences in the first paragraph, also. But I did like your use of first person present.
01/25/06
Yikes. Jodie murdered someone, and the mother is taking the blame for it, I think. Well, even if I'm wrong, this is powerful writing. Love the doors in the first paragraph, and your wordsmithing in general. I'll be reading this one again.
01/26/06
Amazingly powerful writing! You showed the horror of prison so well. The ending lures and teases us to ponder the circumstances that brought the character to this terrible beginning. I, too, see the mother having taken the blame for a murder, the same way Christ takes the blame for every crime we commit. I wonder if the child was defending the mom from an abusive person, or what, but I also wonder if the child would have chosen differently had she known the cost to the mother. You have fixed our gaze upon the story and not on the writing, just as it should be.
01/26/06
Very intense and attention grabbing. What love! To lay down her life for her daughter's. Not sure how the daughter could allow it, if she remembers what happened. Descriptive details were wonderful. Great writing!
01/27/06
I loved that first paragraph especially. Such intense writing. Your short descriptive sentences were really effective. And the final one ... wow.
01/27/06
Oh wow -harsh reality. well written.
Intensely powerful. You have captured the scene so well. Perhaps because I know who wrote this, I was reminded of the case of Lindy Chamberlain. I'm curious as to why the woman is in prison - and yet, in another sense it doesn't matter. The writing is excellent and you draw the writer in. I'll be pondering the ending for days. Well done.
01/28/06
If this is a true story, it happened BEFORE modern times. Today's Correctional Institutions (previously called "prisons") now smell of disinfectant. (I know from first-hand experience of working behind iron bars for the past 20 years). This is, however, a very touching and haunting story; and extremely well written!
01/28/06
Wow - intense. Amazing descriptions. This is one of those stories that you don't want to blink while you're reading because you're afraid of missing something.
01/28/06
Wow! And double Wow!! What a read and fantastic work! Good job Yeggs! You've got a good one here!
01/28/06
This was intense! The first paragraph with its doors, the following paragraphs with the strip search and new clothing, the march to the cell, you kept me reading. I also was not sure if this was a mother who killed her baby, or took the blame for someone else. Leaves me with lots of questions, and a feeling that "[c]oats my taste buds" upon thinking of your description. Well done!
Powerful. Riveting. It was a quick read because I really wanted to see what the next line would be.
This was indeed a riviting entry. The first paragraph confused me a little, not sure if the tenses are mixed. But the rest of it--wow. I'm gonna have to PM you to see if this is the story I think it may be... ;-)
You are simply and wonderfully a master story teller! Such meaningful detail so exquisitely crafted! Amazing.