The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 121 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
06/07/18
I feel like you have a lot of good points in this short piece but need to tie them together a bit more with your main point (the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few). From your introduction, I was expecting to read about the consequences of harsh words to children in Christian homes, or some such similar concept.
06/11/18
You make some excellent points and have some good, descriptive word choices ("Born Again Alley").

A couple of suggestions: Give your readers more white space. You have no spacing between paragraphs which makes the piece a daunting read right off the bat and may cause some readers to not even start. You may already know this, but you can preview the piece before you submit it. Look at the preview and add spacing and take the opportunity to proof it for any grammatical errors (there are a few); then go back to your original or the pasted copy and make some changes before you hit submit.

The other thing I would suggest is, with such limited space (750 words), I'd focus on one subject at a time--or tie the multiple subjects together, somehow, in your wrap-up and verse.

Again, you show good skills and your message is strong. Overall I'd say this is a fine piece that could just use a little tweaking.

Thanks for sharing!