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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Start (01/16/06)

TITLE: Answered Pray
By Shirley MC


Answered Prayer

‘Oh no, it’s raining, this is not a good sign, I can’t go through with it.’

Crystal looked at the other beds and all the girls were sound asleep. She picked up her bag and quietly headed towards the door.’

She managed to walk by without waking anyone up. As she headed towards the lift she waited anxiously for it to come to her floor.

She was speechless when the doors opened.

‘Crystal? What are you doing?’

Oh this is definitely not happening

‘Robi, what are you doing up at this time of night?’

‘I couldn’t sleep, I went out to look at the sky and pray to God to stop the rain.’

‘Where are you going?’

‘Oh Robi, we can’t get married tomorrow everything is going wrong, it’s raining and now I bumped into you, it’s all bad signs.’

‘Since when did you start believing in signs? Last I heard you were a women of God who trusted in him for everything.’

‘I know, I really don’t know what I am doing.’

‘Well, you saved Josh a trip tomorrow.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well he was going to come downstairs in the morning to pick up your luggage for the honeymoon.’

‘So, here I’ll take your bag and walk you back to your room.’

‘Please Crystal promise me you won’t get cold feet.’

‘Otherwise I’ll have to keep watch downstairs to make sure you don’t run away.’

‘No, don’t do that you’ll get bags under your eyes, I’ll promise I won’t get cold feet.’

‘Come along then, I’ll walk you back to your room.’

Robi gave Crystal a good night kiss and took her bags. Crystal managed to get back into the bed without waking up any of the girls.

‘Wake up Crystal it’s your WEDDING DAY!’

The girls were jumping up and down on her bed waking her up for her big day.

Thank you God for taking the rain away.

‘What time is it?’ Said Crystal as she shaded her eyes from the sun.

‘It’s six in the morning and time is ticking.’

‘It’s the start of your new life; you will soon be Mrs Sparkles.’

‘Now go next door the hairdresser is waiting for you.’

‘By the way, we ordered room service; we hope Robi doesn’t mind hahaha.’

‘Girls, it was generous enough that he is paying for our hotel room, don’t go overboard please.’

‘Yeah, yeah, whatever, now go and get yourself gorgeous.’

‘Knock, knock.’

‘Who’s that?’

Gina ran ahead of the other girls to open the door, it was one of the groomsmen.

‘What are you doing here Josh?’

‘Oh, Robi sent me down to check that Crystal is here, is she around?’

‘Yes she is, now go back upstairs and tell Robi to relax, she will be there.’

‘Come on girls lets get ready the Photographer will be here soon.’

The girls were all rushing about hurrying up. The Bride walked in. The girls all started getting excited as they began to sing.

‘Going to the chapel and we’re, gonna get married.’

The girls helped Crystal with her dress and shoes.

‘Knock knock.’

‘Who is it?’

‘It’s the Photographer.’

Gina quickly opened the door to let him in. He took a lot of photos of the girls with the bride, the girls all went to the hallway to get some different shots.

The Photographer went back to the room to take some solo photos of Crystal; she was standing by the window looking outside.

‘Are you ok?’

‘Yes, I’m just happy, look outside; you would never have thought it rained last night, I’m so blessed.’

‘I know, God really heard your prays.’

‘He sure has.’

Thank you God.

‘Are you ready Crystal?’

‘Yes I am, now let’s start.’

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Member Comments
Member Date
Phyllis Inniss01/23/06
An interesting story.
Sally Hanan01/24/06
Is this your own true story? It's cute. You may have a better chance at being in the winners' list in the beginners' or intermediate section, as the competition in advanced is brutal.
Karri Compton01/24/06
Good idea for a story. Be sure to punctuate sentences correctly and use full quotation marks, as well as let the reader know who is speaking. Then the reader won't get confused and your message will come across better!
Val Clark01/25/06
This is a cute story. You've created realistic dialogue and a character and situation we can identify with. To make it more readable and competitive at this level you need to work on how you set out the dialogue and sustain the dramatic tension through to the end.