The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow, this certainly kept my attention! There were a few spots where the tense was wrong and I wonder a bit why you had the detective speaking of "A resolve" rather than "One Who is in control" or something like that, but overall a very powerful story. I love the "I did have hope in things unseen." line from Hebrews 11, and the last line is perfect.
Very disturbing read for a mom of girls. Well-written though. Good description. I see images of Jesus in here, don't I? "arms stretched, fingers splayed, head bowed." Also the rain, the shadow of sin, weeping creation and third day. I liked this because it made me think of what it would be like to make such a sacrifice. I could not but I'm so glad He did. Thanks for writing!
Well written. Sad and thought provoking.
Second story today to make me cry. There's just something about children...and Hope. Children and Hope. Thank you so much for pouring this out.

God bless,

Very powerful! Great emotions and word choices to deliver the feelings! I liked the ending and also the way you wrote in easy language and short sentences. Good job!
Beautifully and heart-breakingly written. Thank you for that glimmer at the end.
I don't know what to say! Since you asked us what we think, this is some of what I see. I see innocence assulted by depravity as a picture of Christ Who was innocent and and suffered. I see the crucifixion and the Father turning away. I see a Father tortured by what He knows is happening. But I can't figure out the paragraph about 'There is a will older...'

A beautifully written, tortuous piece of believing in hope against hope - of holding on to the impossible.
Disturbing. The place where no parent wants to go and yet the Father willingly gave up His Son knowing what was ahead. I can't seem to get the picture out of my head. Well-written as always. Blessings.
I really don't cry much when reading, but this came very close. It definitely hit a nerve.
Powerful. Wow. Haven't quite got the tightness out of my throat or the eyes clear.
Heart-wrenching. Another masterpiece. I went away not only with pain for Jennika and dad, but also seeing the picture of those dark days when Jesus was in the tomb. Awesome stuff. Welcome back, Maxx!
The eye for detail - physical, emotional and symbolic - makes this intense reading: the wound in the side of the teddy bear for example. God bless.
What a way you have with painting pictures in my mind that allow me to be in the story instead of just on the outside looking in.
Gripping. A compelling read. I did not want to read it but had to finish. I hope that was good news ringing.
Whew ... gripping ... powerful ... I hated it and yet I loved it.

Exceptionally artful was this sentence and indeed the whole paragraph that follows: "Pictures strobed through my mind like gunshots in a darkened room."

The innocence, the father that did not protect his one and only, his incredible pain and tearing apart of his heart, the three day thing ... wow.

Yep ... welcome back!
And like I said in the previous comment, Maxx, WELCOME BACK! And congratulations!
Hard to think of us as the ones who took Him and caused such suffering to the Father. Great analogy and writing.
Hard to think of us as the ones who took Him and caused such suffering to the Father. Great analogy and writing.
This is wonderful work! I felt the father's pain. Vivid storytelling. I confess I missed the analogy until you mentioned it on the boards, then I reread and caught it. Congratulations on your win.
you're unbelievable!
gripping, emotional...
a winner in my books.
you annointed writing man. :) you really know how to reach out to the soul.
God is sovereign, his purposes good and perfect. How we struggle with that! Analogy of the suffering F/father works well. Yeggy.
A heartwrenching story - and the truth is, Many a father has had to deal with this very situation...sadly. Great job of bringing it home to the Reader..."as Creation weeps." Beautiful! Kudos!
It's a good thing that we don't actually speak on here, because I wouldn't be able to. Thanks, Maxx.
I had heard that you are an outstanding writer. It's true. Your story raises many questions yet is well told and to the point emotionally.
Ahhhhhh. So soothing to a writers soul to read such a breathtaking story. I loved the part where the dad was running his finger over the wound in the bear. You used the word "wound" intentionally (i believe) to communicate subtly, yet purposly that his child was hurt. I also loved the phrase 'Creation wept.' Those two words saw so much. That sentance is almost enough to bring me to tears. People mentioned Jesus' death being reffered to in this story, I also saw that as well. But I also saw a Father in love with his assumed only child. Someone who he let go. I liked that part. It didn't say that she wondered away or was taken from the home, but that he let of her. The guilt, the hopelessness and the grief were felt so vividly throughout this touching piece. I loved the ending. Hope rings throughout the air. beautiful.