The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 174 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/09/17
Your article grabbed my attention right away. I kept reading with excitement. When I got to the last sentence I was disappointed. I wanted more. Great job.

The only suggestion I would give is I felt the last paragraph could add an additional wow., but that may be my feeling only because I enjoyed it so much.
I enjoyed this different POV on a busy life in the day of Jesus. I thought it clever. I think you could have gone even farther with it and add dialog and body language. Don't be afraid to use all 750 words. You definitely wrote on topic and surprisingly, I haven't read many stories about how busy Jesus was. I like how you handled it.