The Official Writing Challenge
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01/16/05
I loved this. Could you use this as a beginning to a novel? I'd love to hear the rest of their story. (hint -hint) Blessings to you!
01/16/05
Nice story. I kept wondering about the mouse. Very good descriptive use of terms and dialects. I got lost a bit when the children arrived. You told us about Clarence's name before Cleve learned it. (“Who’s that yer dragg’n along?” Cleve nodded at Clarence.) If Cleve is our point of view, then how did he nod at "Clarence" when all he knew was that it was the other man? Maybe some more of your descriptive text could tease us along the mystery another line or two. Just a thought. Well done, though. You got me to be interested through the end.
01/19/06
Loved your matter-of-fact characters, and your ending was perfect.
01/19/06
'“Ain’t no choice Cleve – I hereby bequeath Clarence, Mary, and Merci to your care. Amen. Got any coffee?”' (favorite)

I think I'm going to like this one! (and I don't like westerns too much!) So keep 'em acomin!

Really, really enjoyed it!
01/20/06
I enjoyed this-good characters :)
01/20/06
I too, kept wondering when the mouse would return to the scene; but perhaps that was the bait to bring the Reader into the story, who knows? Anyway, I'm not much for Westerns, but this was truly a lovely story..."the promised land" - how nice!
Brought back the Little House on the Prairie days! Could picture Michael Landon in this one...loved it!
01/21/06
Fast moving, great dialect. Keep this up, Dub, and you'll grow up to be a writer! ;-) Excellent as always. Ya done good. Look! The Promise Land! Love it!
01/21/06
I loved this, Dub! Great story and I hope to read the rest of it! :o)
01/24/06
Promised Land! It's so easy to take the basics: food, shelter, the Word read aloud, for granted. Thanks for this reminder.