The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/02/16
Wonderful message in your well written entry,
God bless~
12/02/16
Sounds like fun, I love putting puzzles together. Great message at the end. Make a good devotional. Blessings, LaVonne
I liked the message in the story as well as the personal life story. And it is like in your story, it can sometimes take a while to get the pieces sorted out and that is why patience is so necessary in our lives.

Small trials in our lives help us to grow patience.

Nicely written.
12/06/16
we solved this sort of problem by turning the puzzle over when completed by covering with a sheet of cardboard before tipping. we then sprayed the backs a different colour for each one. If an accident happened it made sorting much easier. Great story.
I enjoyed this charming story. I grimaced when I pictured the mess of the puzzles and empathized with the MC. The conflict was subtle, but it was there and was displayed nicely. I also loved the resolution. I can't imagine having that much patience, so I truly appreciated it.

Your opening could have been a bit stronger. Instead of starting out with a passive line, you could paint more of a picture for the reader. For example: My friend licked her lips while she wrapped her arms around her body and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "I'm so sorry."
This gives the reader a mental image of what apologetic looks like by her actions and her words.

I think you did a fantastic job of creating a metaphor for life. I often feel like someone has taken my pieces and shuffled them all together. In fact, you did such a good job of subtly showing the message, I don't think you needed the last paragraph. It's hard to decide what the reader can figure out on her own and when you need to nudge her. Before I read the ending, my mind had already made that delightful connection. You didn't overstate it though, so I think it still works fine, especially for those who might need an extra nudge. I thought the story was a grand life lesson. I enjoyed it thoroughly.