The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/10/06
When we sre helpless and trapped,we become bitter and angry, but thank God for Jesus,He holds the key to freedom.Try separating the "old" man, from the "new" man; when you began, "Then one day..."by alonger spacing;for the reader to quickly get the picture.
You captured his thoughts very well,Thanks.
01/10/06
I meant to write, "When we are..."
01/10/06
This is powerful and moving (and I suspect I know its author...we'll see...)

Your fourth and fifth paragraphs so accurately described the lot of the disabled. You are absolutely spot on.

Love the saunter at the end. I can just see it!
A great take on this story. Well done!
Ah, seeing through the eyes of the man on the stretcher! Well done indeed!
01/12/06
This is a very well written story of an incident that took place long ago when our Savior walked this earth. FW writers know this story well, but for the sake of those who do not know their Bibles, are new to Christianity, and drop in to read our writings...I suggest that the Biblical Text be footnoted so that "they" can look up the story themselves. Just a suggestion. (we assume everybody knows the Bible as we do). Nicely done, and a credit to the original story.
A nice telling of a familiar story...I like your emphasis on healing as "escaping" from disability. Liked this sentence about faith, too: "His gaze is not on me, but on my friends. His face lifted to them smiles in celebration of their faith. Theirs is not a passive faith that waits, but strides out to claim a gift offered."