The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/12/06
Great thoughts! You might want to put who is talking in separate paragraphs..easier to read. I also just read in a book that we should avoid common phrases such as 'like a bolt of lightning' as they are so overused...just a thought.I know I have trouble in that area. I will remmber this whenI feel like escaping...how I wanted that same life!
01/13/06
The story is very well written; but if I were reading it in a magazine, the first thing I'd say to myself is: "Serves this mother right for having to clean up after her daughters - she was the one that raised them! Evidently she had allowed them to leave dirty dishes and half eaten bananas around since childhood. But the writing, I thought, was supurb.
Good reminder....no matter what the circumstances, our human perspective leaves us looking for escape! But God can remind us of His provisions, right where we are.