The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/11/06
I liked this a lot--working with teens makes me keenly aware that teen Christians like your protagonist are a precious rarity.

I wonder if you'd consider adding some descriptive passages to your dialog. They break it up a little, and add another kind of detail and interest to the story.

Good job--the conversation rang true, which is hard to do!
nice story. I enjoyed the dialogue. It felt like it was missing something, but I can't put my finger on it...but all in all I thought it was well written.
Good conversation but needs some description to break it up! I am glad she decided to pray instead of escape!
Telling a story through dialogue alone is not easy, but you managed it very well with very realistic dialogue. The 'knowing each other since kindergarten' part of the conversation did not flow quite so well, and I would like to have known what Renee had done to get grounded to give it a little colour - or perhaps because I'm nosey! - but otherwise I liked this. God bless.
Good conversation/dialog. Maybe consider letting us in on the event that led to the "imprisonment" and/or the remorse/repentance going on?? Enjoyed the character development.
01/14/06
I could almost see this done as a skit. I could hear the conversation.