The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/12/05
Neat. You had me until the end, and that last line warmed my heart.

One suggestion: write out the word "okay".
I have the strangest feeling that this is a true story. Thanks for sharing. It's certainly a different kind of safety than what the world offers in "bunkers" isn't it?
12/12/05
Excellent piece of writing. Your conclusion is perfect.
Praise God!!!! A sad, sad story with a happy ending. :-)

I loved the image of the boys signaling with their flashlights...very realistic.
12/14/05
Very compellingly written. Gripping, in fact. And a wonderful ending. Thanks!
I loved your ending---great story!
12/17/05
Great work. You did a wonderful job of creating an environment the reader could climb into and look around as the story is being read.
The story is unfortunately all too familiar I'm afraid.
Been there myself. Thanks for sharing this. Fiction or Non, it was awesome.
12/18/05
Good work and a very good read! Enjoyed it immensely!
12/19/05
A fast paced story in which you create the boy's world with precision and accuracy. Great characters that the reader can identify with and care about. Yeggy.
08/08/07
This brought tears to my eyes. SO many young children suffering in silence and hiding. I totally related to you. Thank God He sent Jesus for us all. Thank you brother. Your writing hit my heart.
09/17/07
This is amazingly powerful and poignant. Congratulations for your showcase feature - definitely an excellent read!
09/17/07
A true heart warmer.
09/20/07
I am highly touched by Jacob's story, most especially as his tale is not too different from what obtains in my homes today. My joy is that at last he found the Hand of Jesus to lean on. He found Him and the past memeories will be wiped out.
What is dehumanising to a young soul than watching his father making his mother a punching bag and wseeing the police taking his father away in cuffs?
But now Jacob can smile once again.
09/20/07
Professional! Absolutely excellent!
09/20/07
Love this, especially the happy ending. Congrats!
Wow! That's really all I can say. except that I really like it when a sad story has a hopeful, happy ending.
Wonderful ending! I'm glad the MC was able to befriend the neighbor boy.
I SO wanted to know how Jacob survived, or perhaps wouldn't... and relief flooded over me at your conclusion. It's good.
Being a "real-life" story person, I have to ask- is it really the author and his neighbour in the account??