The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Oh wow. You did a wonderful job of using words to evoke powerful emotions inside of me. I was hooked from the beginning and hung onto every word until the end. Outstanding job.
08/14/15
War is never without cost. I am so thankful to the men and women who fight for our freedom. It must have truly memorable to meet an actual soldier from WWII.

Red Ink: The last two sentences in the first paragraph should be joined together.
08/15/15
A very well done and sobering piece.

One small red ink: "ninety's" would be "nineties".

Great job with bringing out the somber emotion throughout!!!
08/15/15
I really enjoyed reading this article despite the sombre subject matter. I'll probably never visit Pearl Harbour, but you paint a good picture. Ending with the encounter with the veteran allowed you to bring out a positive comment that would have sounded hollow if you had used your own words.

thank you for the experience
08/15/15
Very skilful work that covers the panoramic beauty of the whole setting; its contrast with the raw evil of warfare; the descriptions of its emotional impact; and the sense of hope and gratitude expressed by the veteran as you wrapped it up. It should place well.
08/15/15
Well written. A good reminder that not all tourist attractions are about fun and games; some, like this remind us of important and sobering history.
08/17/15
Powerful subject matter. The mood in the writing was appropriate and made for a very cohesive piece:) Well done:) This will do well, I hope:)
Very powerful and poignant. It must have been an experience that would be impossible to forget, and although I've never been myself, I felt as though I was standing in the room with you. In fact, the only red ink I have has been said before - nineties, not ninety's. I hope this piece does very well. Awesome job!
08/20/15
Thank you for sharing your experience and reminder that our freedom and salvation were costly!
08/20/15
Congrats on your placement. Your article is very touching. Thanks for sharing your well written entry.
08/20/15
Congratulations, Cindy, on your 3rd place EC. Well deserved!