The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
08/06/15
Hahaha! This was a great read! Thanks for sharing, loved the ending!

God bless~
I loved your account of your family holiday, and his you brought the whole experience alive. Great job!
This is sweet. I think every family vacation has moments of lost kids. I remember a picture of me at Disney, panic etched on my face. Mom knew where I was the entire time. I thought I was lost and feared I'd never find my way home. What a metaphor for the relationship God has with us. Even though we may feel lost, God always has his eyes on us.

Writing in the present tense is difficult. I know I struggle with it. Several times you slipped to past tense. Remember to use hyphens when stringing words together to make an adjective like seven-year-old daughter. It also helps cut down on the word count since hyphenated words count as one word.

You did a nice job of writing on topic. I could easily picture the scenes and have experienced similar vacations. I liked how you made the plane ride feel like a roller-coaster, and had the kids' favorites be so similar, yet different. It's a great way to show how we are all different, yet the same. Nice job.
08/10/15
well done, right on topic.
08/11/15
Cute! And I love the ending:) You nailed the topic for sure! The daughter reminds me of my daughter:)
Precious. I love this . . .