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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Trees (12/05/05)

TITLE: I Commune
By dub W
12/05/05


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I commune with nature and find her gentle hand
reaching to the sky with ample fingers, wooded fingers.
Mysteries of Godís creation sealed within the casings.
The stark winter haze provides yet another contrast
to the sight of Christ in Godís house reining beyond the heaven.

Who cries for Jesus in these cold harsh days?
Who reaches on the highest to praise his name?
Who courts the tiniest ballerina?
Who stands erect joyously dancing?
Dancing to the rhythm of the Gods heavenly choir.

Plaid pipe men cannot come near to music played in Godís honor.
The bands of the earth bound are but strange noise.
Hear the trumpet, the tree, the tambourine all in concert.
Their extended fingers playing the windís harp
calling the Masterís violin to join the recital

Find an angel and ask for a name, beg angelic attention
Man is but fodder in their sight, a parasite, so temporary.
No one knows how to address their highness
but, Angels know, as does Jesus, God in His realm
Oh, fall on your knees ye pallid faces.


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This article has been read 1183 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Deborah Bauers12/12/05
I confess that I am struggling to understand this piece. The opening lines suggest that "I" is able to connect with God's majesty, through nature. As the remainder of the poem unfold, however, you seem to be saying that man can't hope to appreciate or worship God in the way that angels can. Is the "I" of this piece, an angel, then? Thought-provoking piece...
Steve Clark12/13/05
I also had a tough time making sense of this. I think the term "earth bound" was meant to be "earthbound" and thereby refers to the music made by trees, I guess. It also seems to refer to the music men make as inferior forms of worship to the trees and angels. Yet, God has made us to be His children, made in His image, made to bring glory to Him through our free will and our choice to love Him, accept Him, and worship Him. We are told that we will one day judge angels (1COR 6:3), and that we are not to be fooled into worshipping angels (COL 2:18). I see a free flow of creative thoughts here, but I also see a lack of accurate expression of truth.
Pat Guy 12/15/05
I wonder what the Master's violin is?

Anyway - I guess Jesus, Creation and Angels have the inimate knowledge on how to address God, man falls short in comparison, by his attempts. (?)

Interesting to think upon! :)
Jan Ackerson 12/16/05
I love the third stanza! Very powerful!

In s.1., did you mean "reigning?"

And I find the 4th stanza very compelling--an angels' view of heaven. But the last line puzzles me: how do "faces" fall on their knees?

I'll return to this poem; it's one to read slowly and to savor, like a hard butterscotch candy. Masterful use of poetic language.
Marilyn Schnepp 12/16/05
My entry this week was rather scanty and thin on the subject of "trees" also; so, to quote one of our co-writers' critiques that I read elsewhere. "How can I tell you about your speck when I have a two-by-four boulder in my eye". But thanks for sharing.
Sally Hanan12/17/05
There were some very visual lines in here - "creation sealed within the casings", "their extended fingers playing the harp's win" especially. Unfortunately I have not studied poetry in great depth, so cannot offer any deeper comments.
Linda Watson Owen12/18/05
Oh, wow! I'm still thrilling to the image of nature's hands reaching to the sky with tree branch fingers. That is so 'neat'! And so many more here too. Great contrast between the heavenlies and the earthen state. I really like this a lot!
Val Clark12/18/05
Reminsicent of Gerard Manly Hopkins. Especially like this line: 'Mysteries of Godís creation sealed within the casings.'Yeggy