The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/15/15
Clever use of 'All'. I enjoyed reading this thru to the end, which ended well. Al may have worked too for the name, ending the story with "I surrender Al."
05/19/15
This is good.

I noticed a small grammatical error/typo, but nothing that distracted from the piece over all. In this sentence: "...and then there are others, like that man over there, who brings more harm than good." "brings" should be "bring" because it's actually referring to "others" and not "man."

I loved the opening and closing paragraphs. Nice job!