The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/06/05
You've done well with the language of the grandmother - it really gives her a lot of character. You've got some lovely analogies here too. Well done.
12/06/05
Separate your paragraphs with an extra line between; this helps the reader read better.
A little confusion over who is conversing with Grandma could be taken care of with one sentence that tells about the child watching this activity with great interest. I liked the way you expressed the thought that a crochet hook replaced the rake in Grandma's hand. The making time being as important as the thing being made is an important lesson for all of us to remember, as well as the idea that all we have to so is accept the gift that had been so carefully prepared. Some neat spiritual application here!
Beautiful. I loved the child's voice and the grandmother's character. My only suggestion would be to separate the paragraphs and dialogue with an extra line. God Bless.
12/07/05
I agree that grandma's dialect is charming.

It's not until 17 lines down that you establish that this is written in 1st person. A cue earlier in the story would orient your reader.

A nice tribute to the wisdom of the elderly.
Very sweet - very approachable. I agree that spacing would help the reader. Liked this line: "“It’s hard to wait,” Grandma said, “but most things worth waiting for are better appreciated when they finally come." I bet every reader longs for a Sunday pie baked with love like Grandma's. :-)