Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Spring (as in the season) (11/28/05)

TITLE: With Spring Come Crocuses
By Sandra Petersen
11/30/05


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Brilliant yellow crocuses glowed on the computer screen. On the other side of the picture window, a curtain of icicles dripped. Silver droplets flashed to the ground. The sky could almost blind the eyes with its blue clarity.

From her rumpled blankets on the couch, Lori observed these things. The first tears of the morning trickled from her eyes.

Her husband Matt had meant well.

“If I can’t bring you flowers every day,” he told her as he programmed the golden screen saver on the computer desktop, “I can at least give you cyberflowers.”

Each morning she awoke to the sight of this gift and felt remorse. Weeks ago Matt had stopped pleading and demanding that she return to the marriage bed. She was relieved for his silence. At the same time, guilt pressed down upon her. Each morning, her heart condemned her with the same accusation: she had abandoned her role as his helpmeet. Any more sorrow or guilt and her heart would explode.

The floorboards creaked above her head. Despite her tears a part of her froze. Matt was awake and moving about in his morning routine.

Soon he would come downstairs and greet her with his customary “Love you. Did you sleep well?” and plant a warm kiss on her forehead.

She dreaded that moment and, simultaneously, looked forward to it. He would bring downstairs with him life, love, and faith, all of which died for her in September. Yet a small hidden part of her longed for his companionship and the life he brought.

She used a corner of her blanket to wipe away her tears.

“Love you. Did you sleep well?” Matt asked as he descended the stairs.

She shrank inside herself as he bent to kiss her forehead.

“Good morning,” she mumbled and turned her face to her pillow.

“Time to rise and shine, Lori,” he said with a smile.

She nodded, inwardly groaning at the effort that rising in itself would require.

“Today’s the day,” he informed her as he pulled the covers off her. “Get dressed now.”

Without a word, she brushed by him to go to the bathroom upstairs.

“How about some coffee?” he called after her.

“Mm hmm,” she muttered.

Minutes later, she returned to the living room and plopped down onto the couch.

“Not today, Lori,” Matt frowned. “It’s time to get up and get out. It’s beautiful outside.”

He pulled her to her feet and draped her jacket around her shoulders. She accepted the cup of coffee he offered and allowed herself to be led out the door to the car. Sometimes she hated Matt for pressing her when she just wanted to get through another day.

“Can’t we stay home?” she begged as Matt seated her in the car and belted her in.

“No,” he said, shutting her door and closing any further argument.

Getting behind the wheel, Matt started the car.

“You know where we’re going,” he reminded her. “I explained it last night.”

Lori shuddered. She didn’t want to make this visit. She wasn’t ready. Turning away from Matt, she stared at winter-bare branches of trees and shrubs that flashed by.

All was dead, even the foliage. She knew deep within that the trees and shrubs would soon bud in response to spring. She wondered if her heart would ever live again.

Matt slowed the car and entered the gates of a tiny cemetery. Lori shrank into the upholstery, resisting in her mind what she knew would follow.

Why should she want to be here in this forlorn place? She had buried this memory, hadn’t she? Surely God didn’t want her to continue to relive that week in September. Or was this His way of punishing her? She fought the flood of feelings that rushed through her mind.

Almost before she realized what had happened, she was standing before a small stone in a quiet corner of the cemetery.

“Remember, Lori,” Matt gently murmured. “We chose this cemetery so that we could remember her in our own way. Look.”

Light green spears and golden blooms dotted the ground before the stone. Crocuses.

She sank to her knees in the melting drift of snow and buried her face in her hands.

“God, forgive me! My baby,” she wept.

“Our baby,” Matt whispered as he knelt beside Lori and held her tightly.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 912 times
Member Comments
Member Date
terri tiffany12/05/05
Oh, very touching! I wondered at first did the husband do something and you surprised me with her pain over her child.
Karen Heslink12/07/05
I write this with tears in my eyes. You have created a mood here that is very effective. The endig does leave one wondering what happened to the baby, but I suspect that is what you intended.Well done.
Jan Ackerson 12/07/05
What a wonderful husband Matt is! Beautifully written.
Julianne Jones12/10/05
A tender and touching story. Beautifully written. Well done.
Beth Muehlhausen12/11/05
A good commentary on relational pain and healing. I found myself tearing up by the time I got to the end....

A well done story!
Suzanne R12/13/05
Beautiful ... so touching. The way you brought the theme of spring through it all was just beautiful too - very masterful.

I read in your profile that you lost a baby ... no wonder you can write with such feeling. Indeed, you have enabled even someone who has never known such pain get a glimpse of it.

I'm not spying ... I clicked on your profile because you commented on my tree piece and I wanted to return the favour. But of course, I don't yet know what tree piece you wrote, so went to your profile to find a recent piece, and am I glad I did!
Debbie Roppolo12/18/05
What a wonderful piece! You had my attention with the first paragraph and held it throughout the story. I too found myself wondering what the hubby did and was surprised at the ending.

You did a great job of capturing the mother's pain and the hubby's strength and compassion. Again, great story. I'm still teary-eyed