The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/05/05
Intriguing concept, written well. I wonder if you need the next-to-last paragraph. I'd rather infer that information, or have it more integrated into the story, than just explained in an expository paragraph. This reads like a chapter of a good sci-fi novel.
12/06/05
Very good. I liked how you built to the ending. :)
12/06/05
This is a great story. Very realistic and gripping (even though I don't usually enjoy futuristic/sci-fi stuff). I agree with Jan, though - you don't need the second-last paragraph. Great job!
12/06/05
I am clapping right now for this article!

Clap... clap... clap...

Good one.
12/07/05
I have to agree with Jan on the second to last... If perhaps it were a front not e to the piece... Otherwise great job..
A great piece. Very fun to read, and I love sci-fi. Because of that, I was able to infer what was coming without that infamous "second-last" but it was still a great touch.
Thanks for sharing this chilling picture of what our future could bring.

God bless,

Kevin
Interesting story. I enjoyed the touches of spring that suggested hope. The second to last paragraph confirmed what I had already guessed. Perhaps you could omit it and just place the date at the beginning of the piece? A well-written piece - nicely done.
I really enjoyed this! Would have liked to have Scott infer about Jesus or God, but well done!
Scott's hope is REAL (heart level) even in the midst of his confinement. I walked away with, "Yes, no matter what, there is always hope...." Good job with this.