The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/06/05
This choked me up! Very nice story..I think you really made me feel for her situation. Nice job.
wonderful story---I loved your descriptions!
Lovely story. The title was extremely fitting and I liked that Ellie's Hope was both physical and spiritual. Well done.
12/07/05
There is so much good about this pioneer story, that I hope you'll bear with a few suggestions: 1. In the 3rd sentence, the pronoun "her" seems to refer to the rancher, but I think you meant it to refer to Ellie. 2. Keep Ellie's secret from the reader, let us discover it when Chet did. You gave it away with "...something she'd planned to tell him..." 3.
12/07/05
Sorry, I hit "return" too soon.

3. Word choice: Collapsed in a deluge of raw emotion. Either use "collapse" or "deluge", but not both; I don't think you'd collapse in a flood.

These are all thiny fixes, because I think this piece is just shy of perfect. Thanks a bunch.
12/08/05
What a wonderful story and to end it with Hope was just perfect.
12/10/05
I liked this story. I guessed she was pregnant when I read about her not getting to tell Chet something. Nice ending. Good job of writing!
Nicely done - a gripper for sure!

I think the ending would have had more punch if the "clue" about the baby hadn't come earlier...and I love "punchy" endings!!!

There is depth here; this is heart-level stuff. You touch deep places in your reader - places having to do with survival, love, and HOPE.
12/12/05
Loved it! What a great script this would make.