The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/28/05
You set the scene well in the first paragraph. I thought at first he sought a wandering child, then saw the father with beginning Alzheiner's. What a scary moment for caregivers, and what a heart-rending article. The vine is almost allegorical of a creeping consuming death. Perhaps the father sees it as the malevolent force behind his wife's death; it certainly did smother her garden. You gave us a noteworthy lesson here. We don't always notice that we have neglected a duty until someone, even someone with failing mental faculties, points it out. Thank you!
11/28/05
This was brilliantly written! It captivated me from with the first paragraph and kept my attention all the way through. FABULOUS!
11/28/05
What an great story! great descriptions! well done!
11/28/05
Brilliant. I loved it. The descriptions of the rain were terrific. And the similie of the serpant was awesome.
11/29/05
Very good, very "visual." Good writing always draws pictures in the mind, and you accomplished that. The expression of mood was excellent, too.
Wow, this is deep. I'm gonna have to come read it again. Well done!
12/01/05
I love the very subtle parallel with your protagonist's soul.
12/02/05
I like the way you connect with the son's confusion and how he ends up helping his dad. Set the scene well, neat character sketches, had my attention all the way through. Yeggy
12/05/05
Real, gritty stuff-living up to your name!