The Official Writing Challenge
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11/28/05
I love it! Don't think anyone else used that verse, and you gave us a character to really care about.
11/28/05
Yes, brilliant character development! This is a well-crafted story with a unique take on the subject. Well done!
Oh wow! Beautifully written and so creative. Well done!
11/30/05
Good title and a lovely way to illustrate the scripture.
12/01/05
A unique point of view as always! I too love this scripture, images of Ruth come to mind. I noticed the POV shifts too, but the imagery was lovely. :) Karen
I enjoyed this! Good picture of the woman overcoming her struggles to taste the sweetness of the fruit.
12/01/05
So beautiful and creative! God's Word comes to life! Beautiful.
12/01/05
Creative, lovely imagery. From the title to the end, great job.
12/01/05
God provides for everyone alike! A beautiful story!
12/02/05
I really enjoyed your story! I could almost taste those grapes. Good writing!
12/02/05
Throughout this you economically conveyed a very strong sense of place. I was there with your character, identifying with her, sad and glad for her. Well done. Yeggy
12/02/05
Wow! You brought the senses vividly to life! Very nice writing!! I love your word choices!
12/02/05
Very well done -I could feel her frustration.
12/03/05
The title drew me here, the story line kept me here, and the footnote about the Biblical verse explained the reasoning behind the story. I especially liked Rachel's thoughts of "beggar with dignity"; very nice story and excellent writer. (I see labor spelled "labour" so often but cannot find it in dictionary); I am curious as to why that spelling is never questioned by critiquers. Inquisitive mind, you know. (smile)
12/03/05
Wonderfully worded.
Personally, I don't think it's your best.
That might sound harsh, but you've made yourself a lot to live up to ;)
Nevertheless it still shines like everything else you write and anyone else without your extraordinary ability would be pretty proud of this!
12/03/05
Oh, did that even make sense?
12/03/05
You used powerful descriptive verbs well: the whip didn't just crack, it "exploded", the fire didn't engulf her parents, it "swallowed" them, etc. A few shifts of POV were a little distracting. Rachel would not be able to see "her face marred with horrifying injuries" or "the neat rows of grapevines [that] shimmered in the moonlight." (Emphasize that this was a memory she retained from her childhood.) You otherwise described her dependence on her other senses very well. Her desparation and final acts of gratitude are word pictures that will remain in *my* memory. Wouldn't be surprised to see this in the top ranks, or even an Editor's Choice!
12/05/05
Very creative entry. Take care to place a comma after time related words: Immediately, she... etc. You neglected that a few times.
12/06/05
I thought this was beautiful - again, your ability with words is a real gift. Didn't notice the changes of POV etc ... guess this is how we learn. I love it - could almost put myself in her shoes ... well done.