Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Right and Left (07/31/14)
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TITLE: Bob's Decision for Christ | Previous Challenge Entry
By Tim Pickl
08/05/14 -
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BOB - Crabby man
MARCIA - Bob's curious, sweet and innocent wife, playing Bob's "right hand"
MIKE - Bob and Marcia's son-in-law, playing Bob's "left hand"
TELEVANGELIST - voice offstage
Summary:
Bob is watching a televangelist and has an internal battle while responding to the invitation for salvation.
(Bob and Marcia are sitting on two comfortable chairs, center stage. A small table sits between the chairs, with a small antique lamp. Marcia is crocheting, while Bob is holding a newspaper in one hand, and a television remote in the other hand. Mike is sitting on a small couch nearby, texting on his iPhone.)
BOB
Looks like their ain't nothin' on again tonight. (taps the remote control a couple of times) What's dis?
TELEVANGELIST
I sense that there someone-I believe! Watching at home, who is right now on the verge of making a decision for Christ. Friend at home: Listen to the voice of God.
BOB
Yeah, yeah yeah. He probably says that every week.
TELEVANGELIST
Fear not!
BOB
Now dat gave me da goose bumps.
TELEVANGELIST
Today is the day of salvation. Don't wait until you have time. NOW is the time. Don't wait until tomorrow. Don't wait-you have no promise of tomorrow. Give your life to Christ today. Let's pray.
BOB
On da one hand (extends his right hand, palm up)--
MARCIA
(stands up) On the right hand, Bob, this is an excellent decision. This is the right decision. This is an eternal decision. This is a decision you will never regret and your family will be forever grateful. Yes, Bob, yes. Say yes!
BOB
But, den again, on the other hand (extends his left hand, palm up)--
MIKE
(stands up) On the left hand, Bob, you better wait and consider this decision. Think about this before you decide anything. Logically, this doesn't make sense. How can a God you cannot see help you live forever? No, Bob, no. Say no, not right now!
TELEVANGELIST
Father, I confess I am a sinner.
BOB
(stands up) But den again, dis is right. (holds up his right hand a little higher)
MARCIA
Yes, Bob, yes. You know this is right. You know deep down inside this is the right thing to do. Jesus Christ died for your sins. Accept His sacrifice. Everything inside you is saying, Yes, yes, yes!
BOB
But, on the other hand... (holds up his left hand a little higher)
MIKE
No, Bob, no. Now is not the time. You know that this could negatively impact your family. Hold off for today. Wait for a better time.
TELEVANGELIST
I repent Lord and turn my life over to You. Forgive me, Father for all of my sins.
BOB
(holds up his right hand a little higher) Dis IS right, I am feeling something.
MARCIA
Yes, Bob, yes. Say yes: Believe the Words you are hearing. Have faith! You know and now you feel this is right. Every fiber of your soul is telling you, yes, yes, yes!
BOB
(shakes his head and holds his left hand a little higher) But on the other hand...
MIKE
No, Bob, NO! Don't listen to this nonsense. You know your friends will mock you and make fun of you-you have to think about your reputation, here, Bob! You will be a laughingstock.
TELEVANGELIST
Thank you Father for those who have turned their very souls over to You before it was too late. Help every one of us to be ready to meet You.
BOB
(raises both hands in full surrender) I surrender, I surrender! I give my life to Your control, Jesus.
MARCIA
Yes, yes, yes! (sits back down)
MIKE
No, no, no! (sits back down)
BOB
(tears streaming down his cheeks) I am so, so sorry, Jesus. I repent. I give my wretched life over to You. I am so, so sorry. (sits back down in his chair, and taps the remote control again)
MARCIA
(looks up from her crocheting) Oh no, Bob, you've been cryin'. Are you okay?
BOB
Okay? I am MORE than okay. I feel so good and so light and I've been set free from all-a-my sins!
MIKE
(looking at his iPhone) Yeah, yeah sure right Bob. You just got caught up watchin' some sad movie or somethin'.
MARCIA
Oh, Bob. That is just WONderful! I will go and make a dinner to celebrate.
(stands up, then exits stage)
BOB
Well, Mike, you gonna go help her?
MIKE
Nah. I'm outta here. You're crazy.
BOB
Den I will.
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I noticed some tiny things like their instead of there and when you capped the word, Words, it appeared you were talking about the evangilist's words not the Word of God, so it should be lowercase. The other thing I wonder was where was the daughter? You had the one character be the son-in-law, so I was wondering where his wife was. It doesn't really matter, but it did make me wonder so I thought I'd mention it.
You did a wonderful job of writing on topic. The dialog was a delight and made me smile. I also liked the ending, not just the part about him accepting Jesus, but his changed attitude which is shown when he gets up to help the wife. Delightful job.
I want to tell everyone about a wonderful tool that FW offers free to all members. It's called Jan's Writing Basics on the message boards and is full of wisdom that helps all levels of writers. Jan responds to every post, so if you haven't checked it out or participated recently, I'd urge you to do so.