Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Right and Left (07/31/14)
-
TITLE: The Right Side | Previous Challenge Entry
By lynn gipson
08/04/14 -
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Melissa stared at the fork in the road. One side would take her to freedom, the other would wind through hills and dales and lead her right back to the little town she was born and raised in. She sat in her car trying to decide which path to take.
She thought about Kirsten, the three month old baby girl she had left behind with her parents. Her daughter! And here she was about to leave for college and a life of her own. With tears streaming down her face, she remembered her mother's words.
“Melissa, your father and I will take Kirsten. You must go to college and have the life God intended for you to have before you made this horrible mistake.”
“That man is not my father, and Kirsten is my daughter, not yours. How can I just leave her behind?”
“She will only ruin your life! You are far too young to be saddled with a child. You should have thought about all this when you were running around with that Haley boy! We all pay for our sins, Melissa!”
“I have asked God's forgiveness for my sins, Mother. Jesus paid for my sins when He died on the cross, remember? That's what Pastor White told me when I went to talk to him. He told me to repent, and I have repented.”
“We all have a cross to bear, Melissa, and giving up your child is yours.”
Melissa's step-father was even less sympathetic. He was an alcoholic who cared about nothing but his other women and the next drink. Her mother turned a blind eye to his affairs and refused to acknowledge how much he drank. He rarely spoke to Melissa after she came home that day and tearfully announced her pregnancy.
Leaving Kirsten earlier in the evening was the hardest thing Melissa had ever done. She hated the thought of Kirsten growing up with her mother's harsh and scolding voice constantly condemning her, and her step-father's drunken ways.
Melissa had worked all through high school and saved her money. She now had enough to get an apartment and pay her bills for quite a while, until she found another job. Her parents agreed to pay for her college education, but only if she left Kirsten behind.
Suddenly, Melissa knew what she had to do. She took the left side of the fork that led her back home. She would not leave her child! No matter what her mother said, she knew Kirsten belonged with her.
Melissa quietly entered her home, and as she opened the door to the nursery, she saw her mother snatch her baby up out her crib and heard her mutter the words “Just what I need, a child to raise!”
Melissa surprised her mother by gently taking Kirsten out of her arms. Melissa put the baby back in the crib and quickly packed a large suitcase with all of her daughter's clothes and necessities. She took the suitcase to the car and came back to get Kirsten.
Her mother watched sullenly as all this took place and then spoke. “Where are you taking that child? I told you to leave her with us! You will do as I say, Melissa.”
“No, mother, I will not let you and that alcoholic raise my daughter. I am taking her with me, and I will find a way to support her. She will not grow up with the same hatefulness that I did. Goodbye, Mother.”
“If you leave now, Melissa, don't come back. I am not paying for your education if you take that baby with you. You're on you own.”
“Fine, Mother. I'll find a way to pay for my own education. If I have to choose between my family and my child, I choose my child.”
With those final words, Melissa walked out the door. She put the sleeping, snug as a bug, baby in the car and drove away with a huge sense of relief.
Melissa once again found herself at the fork in the road. This time she knew exactly what to do. She said a long prayer and asked for God's protection and help. She kissed her baby daughter on the cheek.
“I will take care of you, baby girl. Somehow, some way, with the strength and mercy of God, we will make it.”
Melissa steered the car to the right side of the fork in the road and left her old life behind.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
Dialogue was very realistic, and your depiction of the MC's internal struggles was palpable. Well well done my friend!
Here's hoping for that elusive EC!!!!
God bless you~
I hope this gets read by many young girls that do make mistakes. I am afraid to many have taken the other road.
After I retired as a principal, I worked for DHS Child Welfare, so many young single mothers, so many grandparents raising children. It is heartbreaking.
Good Job. It kept me reading.
Good story!
It brought back memories for me. Where I used to live, that was the cultural "thing to do". It was almost as if it was planned (in some cases it may have been): young unmarried woman has a child, who is then calmly passed off to the grandmother to raise.
Seeing that happen over and over was incredibly sad, and I never forgot it even after I left that place. It was cathartic to read your story. Well done.
I really felt your MC's pain. And similar predicaments happens every day, somewhere. I think every reader will think of someone they know or have heard of and sympathise.
I can't find anything to use my red ink for!
God Bless!
Yet another grand piece of fiction which has the ring of Truth.
The only red ink I have is tiny. When the MC kissed the baby before turning right, I thought oh that baby should be in a car seat in the middle of the back seat of the car to be safe, making it difficult for Mom to kiss her.
It doesn't matter in the wonderful scheme of things, but I'm a huge carseat proponent, my first published article had to do with keeping kids safe with things like helmets and carseats. Your message is one I wish all parents could understand. The ending was perfect and you kept the suspense and conflict going all the way through. You brought the story full circle. I enjoyed it immensely.
Wing His Words
I'm so happy for you on this well deserved win. I loved it, and so glad the judges did too!!!!!!!!
Congrats on first place and 18th overall!!
C'mon EC!!!
God bless~
Are you scared? No need to be-you fit right in!