The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/08/14
This is an incredible story. You have or had great parents who never gave up on you.

You handled the topic well. The question at the end is profound.

Well written.
08/09/14
Thank you for sharing your story with us. It is heartwarming and poignant to see how wih God in your corner, you've overcome the odds...and proved them all wrong.

You see where you wrote this part: Although I comprehend more than people think, I canít communicate well. One thing I know is that Jesus died for me, and He loves me. I disagree with one thing in your statement...you CAN communicate well as this well written and powerfully moving story attests.

And, of course most important...Jesus died for us...and He loves us.

His light shines through your work and your message!

Fantastic work. Excellent job with this...

May God continue to Bless you abundantly~

08/09/14
I am blown away.

I think this is the most compelling story I have read in a long time.

I could not stop reading. I said to myself, this has to be fiction.

I want to learn from you. Your courage, your faith, your tenacity.

What an outstanding piece.

You made an old man cry.


This is a winner to me!

God bless and I will be looking for more work from you.
Wow this is a powerful piece. It tugged at my heart. My oldest brother had a similar journey. I know Mom agonized over institutionalizing him. He died MO the before his third birthday. I think almost everyone will be able to relate in this one way or the other.

I struggled seeing the topic. Of course, I do see it in the one spot where the family gave crawling lessons, but didn't see it as an essential part of the story. The other thing I struggled with was the voice of the MC. Though you state that he understands more than people think, you still were quite clear that he struggled understanding some things so the voice sounded much older and refined than the age that trapped him.

With that said, that's why there is a term literary licence. You do have the right to stretch things a bit in order to showcase your message. Oh and that message is amazing! The last line is nothing short of sheer genius. I do understand why you chose to tell it in the first person instead of third. It made the reader feel like they were peeking I to this precious baby's heart, and in his heart, he could be all that God intended--a lesson to many about perseverance. This is a compelling read and I enjoyed it more than I can ever say. You need to take this and make sure as many people as possible hear this message. I could even see it unfolding as a novel. This story has the ability to change the world. Thank you for sharing it. You touched my heart in so many ways.
I didn't mention this before, but since you said it was based on a true story, I read it again and really want to encourage you to enter the testimony contest. You have a wonderful way with words and whatever your testimony is, I've no doubt it'll be super powerful.
Congratulations on ranking 3rd in your level and 26 overall. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.
08/15/14
Congrats!

God bless~
08/15/14
Congrats on your placement. I enjoyed your entry very, very much.
Moved to tears. Beautifully written. This left me praising God for a truly stunning testimony.