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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Vote/Voted off the Island (05/29/14)

TITLE: On Your Bike!
By Graham Insley
06/05/14


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Hey! I'm unhappy about the way you've done things, old son,
And I must tell you, "This is not the way it should be done."
What you've been doing here is trying to ruin my life,
As you've led me along a road full of trouble and strife.
Yes, Iím talking to you now, donít you look the other way,
You had better listen to me, to what I have to say.
By following you I have gained a bucket full of shame,
Youíve used me up and worn me out, and then youíve left me drained.

So Satan, Iíve come to kick down your door,
I don't want you in my life anymore,
Don't ever want to even see your face,
Satan, old man, just get out of this place.
And hey, Old Nick, no tricks behind my back,
Iím not fooling now, Iíll cut you no slack,
Youíre not wanted, not needed or desired,
Got the message old son. Satan, youíre fired!

Youíve got your papers and your marching orders are given,
You were defeated old man, by a Lord who is risen.
You nailed Him to a cross, you thought a sacrificial goat,
And then sat back on your heels, probably to smirk and gloat.
But your smirking days are over; you came up short right there.
Even death could never hold Lifeís Eternal, Righteous Heir.
He went down to your domain, kicked your butt and came right back,
He looked you squarely in the eye and said, ďSatan, youíre sacked.Ē

On your bike! Get the next coach out of town.
Get out! You're no longer wanted around.
Itís time to go, get started, pack your bags,
Take your lies with you, they're filthy old rags.
You've no honour, no merit anymore.
What are you waiting for, here's the door.
Head off, be gone, vamoose, go, scram and scat,
Get out of here, Satan. Don't come back.


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This article has been read 75 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 06/05/14
Poems aren't always my thing, but I truly enjoyed this. I think you did a great job of really showcasing the topic throughout the entire piece. Well done.
CD (Camille) Swanson 06/06/14
Well done!

God bless~
Diane Bowman06/07/14
I agree!

Head off, be gone, vamoose, go, scram and scat,
Get out of here, Satan. Don't come back.
Joe Moreland06/07/14
I took one look at this poem and thought to myself, "Oh no! Those lines are too long, the pace is going to be bad."

But it wasn't bad, it was wonderfully fluid and had a great rhythm to it that I slipped into and was at the end before I knew it.

Great wordsmithing and great message!
lynn gipson 06/07/14
The message is strong and speaks for all of those who want Satan to "begone!". The rhyming is excellent, but I found the rhythm to be off a bit. Maybe it's just me, but I couldn't get it to flow easily.

Still a great read!
Maura J. Merrigan06/07/14
This was a great read, very different, well done rhyming! Yes, we do have that authority to "kick down his door" loved that line!
JK Stenger06/07/14
Ha, I agree with some of the writers. I too was a bit apprehensive at first, but I got won over quickly.
We need good fighting poems and stories to stir us up and this one sure did that.
God bless you.
Allison Egley 06/07/14
This is great.

There were a few lines that seemed a bit long and where the rhythm could have been tweaked just a bit, but nothing major. Over all, it flowed quite well.

Nice job.
Milly Born 06/08/14
"On your bike!" Love the title, love the poem. It filled me with a sense of victory, and I almost started singing it--something like Gloria Gaynor's "I will survive." Go Now, Walk out the Door! I won't just survive, but I'll start living the real life.


Noel Mitaxa 06/09/14
Good challenging material delivered in a confident, natural manner. Great work.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 06/13/14
Congratulations on ranking 19 overall. Happy Dance!