Frank Smith downed a gulp of coffee, gagged, and spit it into the sink.
“Whoa, who made that rot gut?” He tossed the paper cup into the sink. Good thing he took the first sip before the other Building and Grounds committee members arrived. What this church needed was his CEO experience.
“Mrs. McGillidudy volunteers to make the coffee. She rides the Haven Nursing Home shuttle bus just to make our coffee and visit.” Pastor Jack poured himself a cup.
“You drink that poison?” Frank pulled the carafe from its stand and started to pour the full pot of coffee down the sink. The pastor stopped him.
“No, but we all get a cup and salute her as she leaves. The bus picks her up right after the meeting starts. We make a fresh pot then. Her dementia has increased this year. She gets creative adding whatever she can find in the cabinets.” The pastor took the carafe from Frank and replaced it.
“Well, get rid of her. That’s no way to run a business.” Frank took a seat at the head of the table.
“This is a church, not a business. We don’t get rid of people.” Pastor Jack sat next to Frank.
“Seriously? What a waste.” Frank crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat. Were they all crazy?
“No, not a waste. Sally Clark takes it home in a jar and pours it over her compost bin. She’s convinced it helps her roses.”
“Ooookay, then.” Frank took his notepad from his jacket pocket. “I came early to discuss the agenda with you.”
“About that. I know you volunteered, and we’re grateful, but we didn’t really decide on you as leader. You just joined the church after all.” Pastor crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair.
“But with my business experience, you need me. For instance,” Frank said, opening his notepad, “we need a new cleaning lady.”
“That woman brings her rowdy three children up here during work hours. How can she concentrate on her job?” He checked that item off, and added ‘Get new coffee volunteer’ to the bottom of the page.
“She’s a single mom that can’t always find a babysitter. The work gets done.” Pastor stood as the other committee members started filing in, chatting and pouring coffee.
Just as everyone found a seat, Mrs. McGillicudy ambled in. Everyone held up their coffee and greeted her with a ‘hello’ or a ‘thanks for making the coffee’. As soon as she was out the door, Sally pulled a large Mason jar from her purse and passed it around. Everyone poured in their coffee.
Pastor Jack made a second pot, and then addressed the group. “ Frank here has volunteered to head the committee. We can vote on that at the end of the meeting. I thought we could hear his suggestions.”
Frank checked off each issue as he went down the list. He spouted a litany of all the people who he felt didn’t do their job properly, from Sunday School teacher to secretary, citing good business practices and policies.
A stone cold silence permeated the room.
“Frank, can I speak to you in the hallway?” The two men left the room.
“When we prayed last week for Jesus to come into your heart, we talked about how God sees you through Jesus now. We try to look at each other that way, through the love of Christ. I’m not saying you don’t have legitimate concerns, but we don’t ‘get rid of’ anyone around here. I really don’t think you’re ready to lead the group. We’d appreciate your participation, though.” Pastor put his hand on Frank’s shoulder.
Frank blew air into his cheeks and exhaled slowly. “I guess you’re right. I don’t get this church thing. I’m pretty imperfect, except for Jesus changing me. I hate the thought of being voted out, though.”
“You’ll learn alot from our fellowship. Just hang around.” The pastor chucked his new member on the shoulder. They returned to the meeting and took their seats.
“All in favor…” Pastor started.
Here it comes. Frank cringed.
“...of Frank being the ‘second pot’ volunteer, raise your hands.”
All hands raised and Frank breathed a sigh of relief. He stood and took a bow, the committee erupting in applause.
He smiled at the change in his heart. He'd get right to work on his new position. That dinosaur coffee pot had to go.
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