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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Vines (11/21/05)

TITLE: After the Kiss
By Jan Ackerson
11/21/05


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Aurora awoke feeling crabby. Just a few more minutes, she thought, before slowly becoming aware that someone was very near her bed. The echo of an unfamiliar sensation rested on her lips. She opened her eyes; a man was standing there, avoiding her gaze.

“Who are you?” Aurora clutched the sheets to her bosom. “Did you just…kiss me? Get out! Where is my maid? Get out of here!” Her voice rose to a trembling shriek.

“Well miss, ‘ats the problem, innit?”

“What…whatever do you mean? Who are you? Where is everyone?” Aurora had pulled the bedding over her head, but she peeked out at the stranger in her chambers. He’s handsome.

“Miss, I’m Bob. Bob Charming? I come to rescue you, I did. You bin asleep for a hunert years, you ‘ave.” Bob gave her a sheepish grin, and touched the brim of his hat.

Aurora sat up fully. “A hundred years! Don’t be absurd! And—why are your clothes all dirty and torn?” Maybe he’s not so handsome after all. What on earth is he wearing?

“It were them vines, miss. They growed up wicked this ‘round this castle, and I ‘ad to chop ‘em down, din’ I?”

“What vines? Oh, this is ridiculous!” Aurora threw aside the covers, no longer caring about propriety. “You—Mr. Charming. Would you just summon my maid, and then go see my father—he’ll give you some new clothes, or a few shillings, or something.”

Bob studied the floor. “Miss Aurora, I ‘ave to take you out of ‘ere meself, I do. Ain’t no one ‘ere but me, ya see. And you can’t get out so easy-like. It’s them vines I was tellin’ you about…they’d muck up yer pretty gowns ‘n’ all…”

Several more rounds of verbal sparring ensued, but Aurora finally agreed with reluctance to leave the castle with Bob. It was far too complicated to dress herself unattended, so she donned a dressing gown and stomped imperiously past her rescuer. Down several flights of stairs, through halls bedecked with cobwebs, Aurora strode through the silent castle with her head held high. Minutes later, she threw open the palace doors—and gasped.

“It’s wot I tol’ ya, miss. Them vines’d just as soon eat ya as look at ya.” Bob dug into the ground with his booted toe.

Aurora was livid. “My father should have spoken to the gardener about these vines ages ago!” She hiked her dressing gown above her knees, and set out toward the tangled overgrowth. “I suppose everyone is on an outing? It’s so like them to let me sleep through all the fun. Ouch!” There followed a string of very un-princesslike language, as Aurora struggled to disentangle her hair and clothing from the twisted vegetation. Eventually, she stopped, panting slightly. “Oh, Bob? Are you still there?”

Bob stepped forward; he had stayed several steps behind during Aurora’s charge of the brambles. “I’ll ‘elp ya, miss. Jes’ let me…’ere ya go, right as rain, you are!”

Aurora shook a leaf from her hair, and surveyed the expanse of vines separating her castle from—well, from everything. She weighed her options, then turned to Bob. Her voice was honeyed and imploring. “Bob, would you mind awfully much…could you help me through this mess? You seem to be very good at vines…and your muscles are just ever so strong.” She extended a slender finger and poked playfully at his bicep, batting her eyelashes prettily.

Bob considered Aurora for several moments. Then with a swift movement, he grasped her behind the knees and hauled her over his back. He fought through the vines, occasionally hacking with his knife at a particularly thick tangle. Soon they had cleared the snarls, and Bob plopped Aurora on a mossy stone bench.

“Oh Bob, that was wonderful!” Aurora gazed with appreciation at her rescuer. “You were just like a knight, or…or a prince!” She fluttered her eyelids again. “I guess…it’s happily ever after for us now…since you’ve already kissed me, I mean.”

Bob looked off at the forest in the distance. “I don’ think so, miss. Yer real pretty an’ all, but I always tho’t me wife ‘ud be more…sweet-like. I ‘ear there’s anuvver gal wot needs rescuin’ in them woods—in some kinda glass casket, they say. So, I’ll be seein’ ya, miss.” He touched his hat again, and ambled off toward the trees.

Aurora watched him leave, shivering a little in her thin dressing gown. A vine lay in pieces at her feet.


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This article has been read 1569 times
Member Comments
Member Date
B Brenton11/28/05
HAHAHAHAHA!
This is a fairy tale gone wrong!
Different approach. Fun read.
I love it. I really do.
Well done!
Anita Neuman11/28/05
Funny, funny story! Great job!!!!
Chelsea Pietsch11/28/05
I really like your original approach... all the way down to 'and they lived happily ever after - apart' :). You captured the character of the princess well. Thanks for sharing
terri tiffany11/28/05
This was cute! It's nice to read a different style and take on the topic!
Amy Michelle Wiley 11/28/05
That was hilarious!!! Well done!!!
Shari Armstrong 11/28/05
Loved the twist on one of my favorites!!! Well done (loved the accent!!!)
Sally Hanan11/28/05
Loved this one, especially the accent. Did you know that a certain Anita has put a link up to this on the forums??
Mary Lang11/28/05
Absolutely delightful! Love Bob and his accent and the unlikely ending. Great job.
Allison Egley 11/28/05
That was great. I loved it. Now I need to take a lesson from this and not be crabby in the morning, just in case my prince should appear by my bed one morning. ;)
Linda Watson Owen11/29/05
eh...thot wuz some story ye rote there, bard! Still laughin' and slappin' me knee!
Marilyn Schnepp 11/29/05
This is a perfect example of HOW TO capture the Reader's interest and carry them through to the end! The GOAL of every writer! Stupendous job with a Standing Ovation from an avid Reader and "wannabe" Writer! Kudos!
Wendy Stewart-Hamilton11/29/05
This was such a treat for me! As a former "Eliza Doolittle" and a current frequent watcher of one of my kids' favorite movies Mary Poppins, this had me grinning from beginning to end. Splendously done - I look forward to seeing who wrote this piece as the style seems VERY familiar. Great job!
Brandi Roberts11/29/05
Awesome! SO funny! LOL
Kell-Ann Hoyte11/30/05
Very funny :D Congrats on a job well done!
Laurie Glass12/01/05
Unique, humourous - this is great. And now we finally know who wrote it.
Sandra Petersen 12/01/05
This reminds me of a book called 'The Paper Bag Princess' where the fairy tale characters don't follow the traditional mold. Bob Charming's dialect was great; Princess Aurora was a snob until she needed him to help her. I agree with everyone else; this was humorous!
Pat Guy 12/01/05
Touche' Jan! :) A great one!
Cassie Memmer12/01/05
Wonderful! So enjoyed this! Loved Bob's 'accent.' Great job!
Garnet Miller 12/01/05
How funny! A fractured fairy tale! Loved it!
Val Clark12/02/05
Loved this, loved the clever way you subverted everything we expected this story to be. Well done! Yeggy
Denise Stanford12/02/05
phantasmagorical....oh I loved it...very clever, witty, light, bright, so very well written characters clear as day, very visual...bravo!
If I was wearing one, my hat would be off to you....
Julianne Jones12/02/05
A fairytale that's just like real life: shock horror! Very fun. Good job.
Debbie OConnor12/03/05
What a great read! I loved every bit of it. Very creative and so much fun!
Kyle Chezum12/03/05
How very creative! I enjoyed it.
Ruth Neilson12/03/05
Awesome, simply awesome!
Suzanne R12/06/05
I love your use of language with both main characters! Well done!!! This was brilliant.
Teresa Hollums01/16/06
Really cute comment on fairy tale and the vanity of a woman. I really enjoyed it.
Trina Courtenay09/01/06
Too funny! My oldest will have to read this so I will save it to my favorites and send her the link.
Kristen Hester02/11/08
We loved it. Thanks for chapter 2 of a wonderful fairy tale!