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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Gossip Mill (05/08/14)

TITLE: The Unsinkable Irene Gentry
By Joe Moreland


Rathbone took a deep breath before entering the room. Unbelievably, his palm was sweaty as he wrapped his knobby little hand around the doorknob. The irony of it made him snort and choke back a low bark that nobody would ever mistake for laughter - except Rathbone.

As the door opened into a non-descript office that contained no photos, no pictures and no decorations of any kind, Rathbone was treated to the sight of someone hunched over a manila folder, whose contents were splayed across a very plain desk. Between Rathbone and the desk sat a single chair. Metal with a government green cushion.

“Stothers,” Rathbone acknowledged his supervisor.

“Rathbone. How nice of you to be on time.” Stothers' voice was raspy. Rathbone used to joke that he continually sounded like something was caught inside his throat. Praise maybe. Credit for others, surely.

Rathbone stood by the chair. Stothers had gone back to staring at his papers. Eventually he seemed to remember his guest standing there.

“Please, Rath, have a seat.”

Ahhh. The casual use of one's name in a familiar sense. Meant to put the person at ease. A standard practice in these types of evaluations. Rathbone sat in the chair.

For a bit, Stothers continued to pour over the last few lines of one of the pages. Then he abruptly gathered up the papers, and placed them methodically back in the folder, which he left squarely in the center of the desk, his fingers tapping gently on it's manila surface.

“This has not been your best of years, Rath. Messy business, that stuff with your latest assignment.”

“That is not my fault. My predecessor...”

Stothers' hand went up to halt whatever Rathbone was about to say next. “I'm not here to hear excuses, Rathbone.”

My, my. How quickly it went from “Rath” to “Rathbone”. Another technique, meant to keep him off kilter. He knew this, but still it worked. Rathbone was silenced.

“You once had such promise, Rathbone. You remember your last evaluation?”

“It's a little fuzzy. It was a long time ago.”

“Yes, it was. 1914, to be exact. As I recall, you were a bit puffed up over that Titanic, thing. You were so sure that by the next time, you'd be sitting on this side of the table. But here we are, more than 100 years later, and there you still sit, about to account for your failure with Irene Gentry.”

Rathbone visibly shrunk at the name “Irene Gentry.” For someone like him to be assigned a nobody – an old bitty – like her was an insult to begin with. That she had been almost completely immune to his coercion was unthinkable. He had been inside the heads of ship captains, SS officers and politicians over the past one hundred years. Experiencing wild success after wild success, Rathbone had climbed up the ladder of influential humans.

Then came Irene Gentry.

The pastor of your church is having an affair.

Irene prayed for him.

Lois James told everyone that you have a drinking problem.

Irene praised God.

Your son is doing drugs.

Irene read her Bible.

Over and over. Rumors, gossip, tragedy – none of it mattered. Irene prayed. She read her Bible. She praised God and told everyone how much she loved Him.

“Well?” Stothers brought Rathbone out of his musings. “Haven't you anything to say for yourself?”

“As I started to say earlier, my predecessor...”

“Your predecessor had things well under control.”

“That is not true! I looked it up. Demon after demon has been sent to their doom, wasting away some of their best years on this woman. Just tell me! Who did I make so angry that I was sent to bang my head against an Irene Gentry wall for the past twenty years?”

Stothers carefully set the file back down on the desk and folded his hands. He smiled. It was not a nice smile.

“Maybe you made an enemy or two along the way, Rath. Maybe you made someone unhappy with your smug conceit over some minor successes. Some strings were pulled – maybe. Or...maybe you've just gone soft. Irene's only got another twenty or so years left. It might do you some good to finish out with her. Toughen you up some.”

The rumor spread through hell quickly afterwards: An old woman had made one of the devil's best cry like a little girl.

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This article has been read 453 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 05/17/14
This is great. You had me from the first word to the last. I think a woman like Irene can do far more damage to the devil than a horrible disaster. It reminds me of a modern take on the parable of the rich man and the poor widow tithing. When we give our all to God wonderful things happen.

The red ink I have is tiny. I've been trained not to start a sentence with a numeral. You did it just once though, but it could easily be fixed like this:Yes, it was--1914--to be exact. Also notice the em dash was two hyphens with no spaces on either side. (In Word, you can push ctrl and the minus sign on the number pad to get the exact length which is the size of the letter m, hence it's name.)

Overall, I think you nailed the topic in a fresh, fascinating way. Your message is one I needed at that exact second. I'm always amazed how God manages to do that. Thank you for being a part of God's love note to me.
lynn gipson 05/18/14
Well written and interesting. I am in awe of your style of writing. Excellent!
Judith Gayle Smith05/18/14
Wow. I pray I am "Irene" to Satan and his struggling minions. This is so well written and entertaining . . .
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/18/14
Your story is very creative and certainly on topic. I enjoyed your description of how a saint reacts to gossip. Excellent writing!

Two little red-ink mentions:
Nondescript doesn't have a hypen, and the slang word for hen is "biddy."
Ellen Carr 05/19/14
This is a great story and a creative and pertinent take on the topic with the demon assigned to get Irene gossiping.You kept my interest throughout. One tiny red ink comment: Where you used 'shrunk' it should have been 'shrank'. 'Shrunk' needs a 'has/had' in front of it. But, well done with this!
Graham Insley05/19/14
I think this is brilliant and I love these sort of tales. the title got me in right from the onset, and the inclusion of the Titanic was a very clever mind picture.

Thanks and blessings.
C D Swanson 05/19/14
When I read stories like these, I wonder how I'm in Masters with all the rest!

Well done.

God bless~
Allison Egley 05/19/14
Oh, this was so creative! Great job with this. I loved it. Poor demon... couldn't get the poor old lady. ;)
Lisa Johnson05/22/14
I did not "get it" at first... I thought it was some "secret agent" kind of thing, and I guess in a way it was... but this was absolutely brilliant! I enjoyed reading this piece, and I can see why you were awarded a very well deserved EC. Congratulations!
Lillian Rhoades 05/22/14
Cleverly and ingeniously developed and creatively written.

Congratulations, Joe. Your talent is showing. :-)
C D Swanson 05/22/14
Congrats! God bless~
Margaret Kearley 05/22/14
This is the second wonderful entry this week that has reminded me of CS Lewis' Screwtape letters. This is an amazing story with a real kick - just excellent writing and well deserving of its high placing. Many congrats. (Thanks too for your kind comments Joe)
Tracy Nunes 05/22/14
Oh my. Wow. Yes, oh my AND wow. It deserves both. I missed this the first time around and I'm so glad I saw it now. That was perfect, beginning to end. Congratulations!
Pauline Carruthers 05/22/14
Amazing story - just loved it. Congratulations.
Ellen Carr 05/22/14
Congratulations, Joe! A well deserved 2nd place.
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/23/14
Congratulations for well deserved EC. Your piece was excellently written.
Bea Edwards 05/26/14
Your story infused my enthusiasm to defeat the relentless assaults from the enemy using our all powerful weapon-the Word of God and prayer.

Congratulations on your win with this fabulous fable.
Nancy Bucca05/26/14
Ooh, I so enjoyed this: a powerful message packed into a short story. Hee hee hee. Not feeling at all sorry for old Rathbone. Congrats on a well deserved EC.
Leola Ogle 05/28/14
What a unique, but enjoyable read. Congrats, Joe, and God bless!