The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/19/14
You've taken a very different approach to this topic and have fitted a lot into this article. It's quite a 'dense' read as it has so much in it. I'm confused as to whether it's fiction (as it says at the end)or non-fiction (as you say on the forums) - I'm guessing the latter. You and your husband obviously have a lot to contend with and have found gossip to be hurtful. Thanks for sharing this with such descriptive language. It was moving to read it.
05/19/14
Very powerful piece, with extremely strong language and imagery. With, of course, truth that we ALL need to be reminded of.

Thanks for sharing!
05/19/14
Your commentary about gossip and its ilk has an authentic tone, so I'm assuming it's non-fiction...which doesn't surprise me, given gossip is alive and thriving in this world.

You give a raw account about how gossip can infiltrate minds, and crush hearts and destroy in the process.

Well done, and lovely closing prayer.

God bless~
05/19/14
I really enjoyed your 'rant'; and I do not mean that in a negative way. It was an excellent 'I'm getting this out of my system' beginning that served as an unusual hook; and it worked.

Not so much as red ink, but more of a thought, I do wonder about the self exposure revealing, so obviously, who the author is in a Challenge entry. You even use your name. Just a thought.

Your play on well know phrases always catches my eye: 'squeaks me off my feet' and 'fist shattering breaks to my heart' are just two great examples.

I also admire your vocabulary.

Blessings.
05/19/14
There are some great reminders here.

This may be just me, but the first few paragraphs seemed a bit too... complicated. It didn't seem to fit with the rest of it, and I got a bit lost.

The second part is great. Nice job. :)