The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
05/16/14
I enjoyed reading your story for its strong story-telling elements - good pacing, nice scene setup, and introduction of characters. Having homeschooled both of our children from preschool through high school, I have to say the entire scenario seemed a bit farfetched. I'm aware of the "resistance" to homeschooling (believe me, we experienced our share of it for many years), but the event that took place in your story, along with the characters' dialogue, seemed unbelievable to me. There may come a day when it gets to this point, but for now, I feel this is a bit melodramatic. Would a government official "really" just hold up a document and say, "We have authority," without any other explanation? And then shoot the mother?! I hope you won't take offense with this critique, because I'm totally supportive of homeschooling, and understand the difficulties. This story shows that you definitely know how to write well, I simply struggled with believing the message.
05/17/14
This was an imaginative take on things gone wrong in society today.

I could see this as a futuristic film, or story. I received your message loud and clear, it give the reader a lot to ponder.

This was excellent writing with all that's happening today, it might not be as outrageous or "far out" as one might think!!

Well done.

God bless~