The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
04/11/14
Loved the ending!! Nicely done!

God bless~
04/15/14
This reads like a parable or short allegory. I like the repetition at the beginning. I like the hope of a change in Charlie's life.
04/16/14
I liked your characters. I could see Reese running with her tongue hanging out while Charlie sat serenely on the porch.

Good example for the topic and well done.
04/17/14
Congrats!

God bless~
Congratulations on ranking 5th in your level and 25 overall. The highest rankings can be found in the message boards.
I love this. What a wonderful lesson. Even though you used the pronoun her with Charlie, I missed it at first and pictured Charlie as a guy. Because of the title I was expecting another woman to come in. The fault is entirely mine though. I mentioned it because the title shows that it was important to have two women. Perhaps if you had named her Charlene...someone once gave me that advice and the sex didn't matter in my story so I shrugged it off. If your title was different, I don't think it would have mattered to me either. I'm rambling about something that was my fault when I should be complimenting you on the excellent way you juxtaposed the two women. The topic was clearly evident throughout the whole story, yet still fresh and enjoyable to read. The message is the best, especially in today's world. Congrats again on a wonderful story!