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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Chillax (04/03/14)

TITLE: Jumping to Conclusions
By Rachel Malcolm
04/07/14


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Marie hurried towards the door when she noticed that David was holding it open for her. “Thank you,” she said, feeling her cheeks flush.

“Where are you headed?” David asked as they fell into step together.

“My car's at the bank.” Marie flapped her hand in the direction she was walking.

“That's where I'm going too!” David seemed happy about sharing the walk with her, and Marie's heart fluttered. During the entire two years she'd been working at the district office, Marie had been harbouring a secret attraction towards her co-worker.

Marie was trying not to look at David, since every time she looked into his blue gaze everything sensible flew out of her head.

“So, do you park your car there so you can get more exercise?” David asked casually.

“For the free parking.” Marie's cheeks grew hot again. The free parking! Can't you think of anything intelligent to say? Marie thought, chiding herself.

“Ha! Chillax Accounting Services,” Marie said, noticing a new sign and desperate to change the subject. “What a lame name.”

“It means to chill and relax.”

“Right! I bet that's in the dictionary right beside chilli.”

“I'm serious!” David said with a laugh. He placed his hand over his heart and tried not to smile. “Upon my honour. Every day I look up a new word and try to use it in conversation. Chillax was a word I had last month.”

“What are you? A writer or something?” Marie asked while moving her purse to the other shoulder.

“I'm trying to be.”

“Okay, Mr. Writer, tell me a story about chillax.”

“Give me a minute.” David ran his fingers through his hair and tilted his head back. “Okay, there was a girl named Marie who was worried about many things like where to find free parking and the horrors of losing a gel nail. She just needed to chillax.”

Marie glanced at her manicured fingers and the one naked nail; the gel nail had been torn off in the filing cabinet earlier in the day, and apparently her complaining had made it to David's ears. She thunked him in the chest with her purse as they approached the bank.

David threw his head back in a laugh. “You wanted a story.”

“Go on then.”

David's face became more serious, but his eyes still twinkled. “While worrying about the things that are temporary, she neglected those things that would matter for all eternity.”

Is this some sort of crazy marriage proposal? Marie leaned against her car to steady herself.

David reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and Marie thought she was going to faint. “It's all in here,” David said, handing her a small book. “See you tomorrow!”

Marie just nodded. She was sure she would squeak if she tried to say anything. She fumbled the keys and dropped them before finally getting the car door open and collapsing into the seat.

Cupping her face in both hands, she stifled a laugh. And you thought he was going to pull out a ring! Catching her breath, she looked down at the book. The cover was etched in silver letters. She traced over them with her fingers. “New Testament,” she whispered, thinking back to the little pocket testament that she had carried around as a child.

She opened the small Bible and flipped the pages until she found the book of John, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God...”


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This article has been read 74 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD Swanson 04/11/14
This was cute and different. I loved the storyline, and enjoyed the conclusion. Well done.

God bless~
Yvonne Blake 04/15/14
There is a lot here in just a few words! I can see it being expanded into a full story.
CD Swanson 04/17/14
Congrats!

God bless~
Tracy Nunes 04/17/14
Congratulations! Well done!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 04/18/14
This is great. I'm not big on romance stories but this is the best kind. You really did a delightful job of pulling the topic in. I love the idea of an observant man too. ;) The only red ink is I had to reread because I thought they were both going to the bank to do business and I was confused because they went to the car. When I reread I did see that she parked at the bank. I think my confusion came because in my area if you parked in another vendor's lot, your car would get towed. The mistake was mine as I found out when I went back. I only mention it because it did interrupt my flow a bit and if it did for me, then others might have too. Again though if I had been reading more carefully, I would have gotten it. You really did a great job. I laughed about the ring part. Oh that can be so like some girls who so desperately want a relationship. There are several wise messages in this piece! Congratulations on ranking 4th in your level and 21 overall. Happy Dance!!
Maura J. Merrigan04/19/14
Congrats Rachel! I'm just getting around to reading some stories now! This was great, creative and clever writing!