The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This "life journal" was entertaining and realistic providing a great message and timely reminder in the process.

Well done!

God bless~
This was chilling until the end--mostly because I could have easily written it. Fantastic emotional writing here. Well done.
There's a transparency here that invites your readers to relax with the reality of dark emotions still being no barrier to God's grace. Yet you have skilfully and lightly touched these emotions with self-deprecation that keeps it from descending into introspective self-absorption. Good work.
I agree with the above comment but couldn't have put it so eloquently. I always enjoy reading your entries and this one is no exception. You tell it like it is, and the reader can identify with your emotions and trauma. This was spot on for the topic and your message came over clearly. Great job!
Your writing is very open and real with emotions right on the surface. I can relate to the intense struggle for self-control. It is a day-to-day battle!

Watch out for run-on sentences. This sentence contains two independent clauses: "Today isn’t looking any better, reason and rationale flew off with that wicked little bluebird of so-called happiness." You could use a semicolon between better and reason or use a conjunction and keep the comma.

Your words are a reminder to me to seek God's presence when I am tempted to go over the deep end. I love how you remind yourself to relax and remember whose child you are.
Your prayer was right-on for your frustrated emotional state. God Bless.
I totally enjoyed the first paragraph. Nothing like picking at one's toenails to pull me into a story. It created a vivid picture and also set the tone for the rest of the story.

Although I'm not sure, I think I'd like it even more if you had given some more emotions. When you mention fingernails cutting into flesh, I automatically thought the MC was a cutter or someone into self-abuse. If that was the case and not just a metaphor, that would have been the perfect place to expand on it and maybe even help the reader understand why someone would go in that direction.

I think your ending was great. I love how God knows just what we need. When we wallow in our own self-pity, he sends someone along and allows us to pull ourselves out of the deep end to rescue someone else. What a brilliant and powerful message. It touched my heart for sure. I don't think you needed the last line. It almost felt like you were worried that people might think it was off topic so you added it just to be sure. I think the prayer would have been the perfect place to stop. There is no doubt (in my mind) that you were on topic. Emotions can definitely drown us if we allow them to. So many people have no idea how to pray, so I especially enjoy it when a prayer is included. In fact, I've had one of those days and am going to read and pray it one more time. Thanks for touching my heart in just the right way.

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