Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: End Times (02/27/14)

TITLE: Time Out
By Steve McClure
03/04/14


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“What time is it?” hollered the little boy.

“2:37,” his mother replied from the kitchen.

“How much is that?”

“Not enough.”

Not enough?! But I’ve been sitting here a long time.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. You need to think about things a bit more.”

Oh, that. Well, I needed that truck. Sissy had it too long. She’s little, anyway. All she does is chew an’ slobber on it. Trucks are for boys. I can run it along the floor and make a motor noise – she can’t do that. The boy crossed his arms atop his sand-colored, bushy hair and swayed side to side. …Mommy said God wouldn’t approve of my taking the truck.

“Does God approve of you making me sit here?”

“Yes, he does.”

Humph! I don’t like this chair. It’s hard. There’s nothing to do.

The chair sat in a corner of the foyer, near the front door. Window panels framing the door allowed the boy to view the front yard and court, and the sun shining brightly on this early-spring day. The boy could see birds flitting around in the fresh, new grass. A squirrel was busy digging for something. And…. Michael. Michael’s playing outside!

“Michael’s outside, Mommy!”

“That’s nice.”

“Is it the end, now?”

“Not yet.”

“I need to go see Michael.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Awww, why not?”

“Why are you in that chair?”

Oh, yeah. That. Well, I wouldn’t be here if Sissy hadn’t cried. It’s all her fault.

“What time is it, Mommy?”

“2:38.”

“Isn’t it the end?”

“Not yet.”

The little boy watched Michael disappear into the backyard of his house. His eyes wandered up to the cloudless, azure sky. I should be out there. Everybody’s having fun but me.

“I’m sorry, Mommy.”

“I’m glad you’re sorry. You can tell Sissy when you get up.”

“I’m hungry.”

Silence.

“I’m hungry, Mommy.”

“You can have a snack later.”

“I’ll give Sissy some.”

“That’s nice.”

“Is it the end?”

“Not yet.”

The little boy gazed around the foyer. A chandelier hung in the middle. Two landscape pictures hung on either side of the door. Stairs ranged to the upper level…. Ooo, naps happen up there. But I already had my nap. He gazed across the foyer into the dining room. He could just see one side of the glass-doored cabinet filled with fine, breakable dishes. No playing allowed in there. He turned his gaze to the near side of the foyer, into the formal living room with its delicate things. No playing in there, either.

“When will it be the end, Mommy?”

“Couple minutes.”

“But it’s already been a couple minutes.”

“Yes, you’re about half-way there.”

Half way?! “That’s too long, Mommy.”

“Just enough for you to think about what you did.”

He stared down the hallway leading to the family room with the kitchen off to the side. A baby dressed in pink with fine blonde hair banded into two tufts atop her head crawled into view, cooing and chasing a small, bright yellow truck that she had just pushed away. There’s Sissy, drooling on my truck. Why can’t she play with something else?

“Mom-my,” he called long and mournfully. “Sissy’s got my tru-ck.”

Silence.

“Mom-my!”

“By the time you get up she’ll probably be playing with something else.”

Something else?! “What else?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Something.”

My train? …My cars? …My Captain America mask?

The baby caught sight of the boy and squealed, showing a couple of new teeth through an otherwise toothless grin.

“Sissy’s looking at me!”

Silence.

“Is it the end yet, Mommy?”

More silence. …Footsteps.

Mom appeared at the end of the hall, dish towel in hand. She walked toward the boy.

“Is it the end?” eagerly quizzed the boy.

“It’s the end.”

The boy jumped up and started to run down the hall.

“Wait!” commanded Mom.

The boy stopped in his tracks, expecting a reprimand.

“Why were you sitting in the chair?”

“You told me to.”

“And why did I tell you to?”

He hesitated. “I made Sissy cry?”

“And why was that?”

The boy paused, staring straight ahead. Mom looked down at the boy, patiently awaiting an answer.

Finally, he mumbled, “’Cuz I took my truck.”

“Do you have something to say to Sissy, now?”

Long pause. “I’m sorry, Sissy.”

“That’s good. Go ahead.”

The boy bolted for his now abandoned truck. Mom returned to the kitchen. The baby had turned her attention to a ball….

…The baby started to cry.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 88 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lois Farrow03/10/14
Great story following the thoughts of the little boy. Good on the Mum for sticking to her time. Well done.
CD (Camille) Swanson 03/11/14
So good! I really enjoyed this entry. Thank you!
God bless~
CD (Camille) Swanson 03/13/14
Congrats! God bless~
Toni Hammer 03/14/14
It's as though you peered into my home on any given day. Well done and congratulations on the EC!
Dusty Fontaine03/14/14
Very nicely written, Steve.

Your dialogue and the thoughts of the young boy were spot on.

Congratulations on taking second place in the challenge. Good job.

Dusty
Sheldon Bass 03/19/14
I had a few good chuckles at this realistic scenario,like the one minute later time check. I'm not sure if there's a message here, but this is a very enjoyable read. Congratulations on a fine piece of writing and on your EC!