The Official Writing Challenge
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03/06/14
Oh my kind of story...conflict forms within, tension builds, and confidence soars ultimately goodness wins and the power of God victorous.

I loved this well written and tender story, it had my attention and I was rooting for the MC from the moment I began reading.

Powerful ending...I liked he went on to coach and be a role model for the team in terms of Christian behavior.

Excellent!

God bless~
03/06/14
This story instantly drew me in and held me captive to the very end. Excellent. I love happy endings. I think you'll make every single reader root for Kevin and cheer for him. When he made the goal I cheered and almost threw my arms up like goal posts. I could feel the tension and elation. Keep the wonderful stories coming!
03/08/14
Yay Kevin!!! What a super fun read! You're such a gifted storyteller.

Two very small red ink comments. One, I believe you omitted the word "he" in this: "As [he] readied himself for the kick..." Two, you may want to lose "the" in this line: "A few days before his big game night, Kevin was called to the Coach Sanders' office during history class." Or change it to "the office of Coach..."

This line right here is the best line I've read this challenge: "Kevin desperately needed to prove him wrong." Here's why. You said that Kevin NEEDED to prove him wrong--not wanted to prove him wrong. Something about that fantastic word choice really struck me.

This is a fantastic story. I could just gush and gush for days.
03/08/14
Whether you intended to or not, I like your veiled reference to spiritual end times with your title, "Game Over." How true, someday Satan's game will be over!

Opinion:-) After your first paragraph, you interrupted the action to flashback to a description of Kevin and what took place prior to the big moment. In doing so, you lost the momentum built up by your first paragraph. Perhaps a rearranging of events/action and background/flashback information would help to maintain the reader's initial focus/interest on the main event/story. You might want to give the reader a "heads-up" that you're going back in time. For ex: "He had waited for this moment ever since he had become the second string..."

I like the end lesson. Not only was the game over, but so were his childhood insecurities.
You wrote this better than most sports writers would or could. Wouldn't it be wonderful if stories such as this delightful one ran on all the sports pages. Great job sweetheart!
Good job of playing with the theme and presenting a very interesting story!
03/11/14
Very interesting read! Clever take on "end times" using this creative story! Blessings!