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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: End Times (02/27/14)

TITLE: The Elusive Prophecy (Satire)
By Dusty Fontaine
03/02/14


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I may have to resign from my position as Elder in the church.

It’s not because I’ve committed some great sin. There’s been no affair, no big lie or embezzled money – nothing like that. I’ve just come to the conclusion that God is hiding the understanding of an important end-time prophecy from me, while revealing it to many who are not as devout as I am.

Oh, don’t get me wrong – He still answers most of my prayers and teaches me the meaning of hard-to-understand scripture verses from time to time. But there is one particular revelation that has eluded me for years – forty-one to be exact. I’m sure it’s in the Bible, but I just can’t seem to find it.

I’m up every morning by 4:30 to spend personal time with my Maker and His Word. I’ve read from “In the beginning…” to the final “Amen” in Revelation so many times the red and black letters are permanently burnt into my soul. Five or six Bibles have disintegrated under my pen as I circled, underlined and cross-referenced truth. But still He hides this one oracle from me.

There are many signs of the end that have been shown to me: I know there will be an abundance of wars and earthquakes, Luke 21:9-11 (KJV) mankind will become as evil as they were at the time of Noah and in the days of Lot, Luke 17:26-30 (KJV) and, my personal favorite -- “knowledge shall be increased.” Daniel 12:4 (KJV) All of these scriptures, along with others, clearly show we are living in the last days – the end times if you will. I am blessed to have this understanding, but I still feel left out of the loop.

I’ve worked with irrigation – automatic lawn sprinkler systems – since I was sixteen. My job is to keep my customer’s grass and plants perfectly saturated. Most of my work is performed in Lee and Collier Counties, Florida where the highest concentration of millionaires in the country live. There are movie stars, talk radio celebrities, investment gurus, chief executive officers of well-known corporations, etc. living in high-end communities protected by electronic gates and security guards.

I would venture to say many of these well-to-dos don’t read the Bible, don’t go to church regularly, and some even worship made-up gods of Middle Eastern descent. So why would God let them see the prophecy, but not me?

Almost daily, I receive calls from these customers ranting and raving: “I have a dry spot in my yard! You have to get someone out here right away!” After hundreds, or even thousands of these kinds of calls over the years, I am convinced there is a prophecy in the Bible that says dry spots are a sign of the end times. Why else would so many act like it’s the end of the world when they get one. But even after decades of study – I can’t find it.

I may have to resign from my position as Elder in the church.


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This article has been read 98 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Karen Locklear 03/06/14
LOVE IT! You are killing me because the second I read yours I came up with about five different ideas in regards to this and how I could have hit the topic cleaner. Anyway, great job!!!
Stephanie Eckenroad03/06/14
I enjoyed reading this! Truth with humor - I love it!
Lois Farrow03/06/14
Fun story. Well done. So many little things seem like the end of the world when we get things out of perspective.
Lillian Rhoades 03/07/14
THIS is SO satirically funny!!

I love the lighthearted, unique approach to the topic.
Wish I could have thought of that. ;-) Five stars from me.
CD Swanson 03/08/14
Sheer brilliance and iconic wit merging with truth equals a winner in my book!

Nice job!

God bless~
Maura J. Merrigan03/11/14
Very clever, loved last paragraph, kept me hooked from beginning, a nice read!!
Toni Hammer 03/11/14
Fabulous work as always. You made me smile on a day where I needed one. It was refreshing to read something on the lighter side of things this week considering the weight of the topic.

This is more opinion than red ink, but I'm wondering if you should have used a ? at the end of this sentence, "Why else would so many act like it’s the end of the world when they get one."

Other than that, and maybe not even that, I can find no flaws. I love your work.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/14/14
Congratulations on ranking 6th in your level and 20 overall.