The Official Writing Challenge
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02/22/14
Wow. That was intense. Dang.

Two " red ink" comments. One, "ribbons" is missing the "i." Two... the idea for the piece is great. However I feel like it got muddled with... too many analogies or what I call "fancy" words. I struggled with the flow of the narrative.

You're talented, though. Sincerely. You have a powerful story to tell here.
02/23/14
Once I got beyond the first paragraph (which confused me) then I could connect with your story.

The self-deprecating descriptions of MC are easy to relate with on personal level. Much of what you wrote hit nerves within because they got so close to me on personally. .

I like how you entwined scripture lessons into your story.

Keep writing!
02/23/14
Once I got beyond the first paragraph (which confused me) then I could connect with your story.

The self-deprecating descriptions of MC are easy to relate with on personal level. Much of what you wrote hit nerves within because they got so close to me on personally. .

I like how you entwined scripture lessons into your story.

Keep writing!
02/23/14
Your opening paragraph was in need of a trim! Sometimes less is more and the message you are trying to say gets lost in all the words. You gripped me with the self harming and the fact it was a pastor's wife doing the harm. It made me think how we presume some people are OK when they are not. This is worth working on to make it an easier, more powerful read.
02/23/14
Oh my, I love your quirky writing. You have a way with words, (not sure how to describe it though,) that always sucks me into your stories, even when they don't make sense. This one was great for the topic, and if it's a true story I admire your honesty. I love the title and I thought the first, mile long sentence was fitting for what followed. It was an authentic voice for the MC's disjointed ramblings. Love it!
02/23/14
Once again I'm impressed by your out-of-the-box style of writing and your expressive creational content. Thanks!
02/23/14
You've certainly poured your heart out here, and I'm sure we can all identify aspects of ourselves in different sections. Thanks for your candour.
02/23/14
I LOVE your writing style. The words just ripple on the pages and I am caught up in your dance. This is thoroughly enjoyable, as all your reads are. If I could write this well, I wouldn't change a thing.

Blessings girl!
02/24/14
Amazingly powerful delivery along with an even more prolific message. This honest piece resonates and pulsates truth and raw emotions for all to read and "feel."

Excellent work here.

Thank you and God Bless you~
02/24/14
You have an amazing way with words, as I'm sure you know.

The viewpoint you use is interesting, but a little hard to follow for me.

Your description of your MC makes me feel they need serious help. They seem to have plenty of knowledge of God's Word and yet they are torturing themselves. That's out there for me.

Overall this is a well written article that is right on topic. It is also one I will remember for a while. Thanks.
02/25/14
Wow... there was a lot here. I think a bit too much to easily follow. There were many truths, but I couldn't tell if they were there to teach as much as to make a point that the MC is tormented and dashes from thought to thought, or both. I pray for you to feel God's peace today, and always. He is powerfully using you, I am sure.
I think the first paragraph tells a story in itself: it shows that you started writing a non-fiction story for the challenge, showing us your writing skills (and they are there,) and as you continued, you started pouring your heart into your testimony.
I know several "cutters" who are trying hard to have a relationship with the Savior. They continue to show up for studies and Sabbath services where they receive the word of power. If they do not give up and continue to lay it before the Almighty, they will have the victory and a more abundant life. As will you.
I am praying, Judi.
Dusty
02/25/14
Your honesty in this lavish piece and the image of your empathy turning back on yourself is haunting.
I'm at a loss for the right words to express myself other than you are a brave, colorfully gifted daughter of the King and I pray He sees fits to cloth you with mercy and grace to heal those places where you struggle.