Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: At Wit’s End (02/13/14)
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TITLE: Absolutely Real-to-Life Adventures Educating the Public | Previous Challenge Entry
By Karen Locklear
02/19/14 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
7:00
The caffeine hasn’t kicked in, the copier isn’t working, and the idea of dealing with sixteen-year-olds who are already mentally on vacay hurts my head.
But I bought new strappy sandals Saturday and they are quite beautiful on my feet. Summer here I come!
7:02
Can’t deal with malfunctioning copier without cursing. Shall improvise.
Shoes are still awesome.
7:20
Information is on the board. Kids barreling down the hall screaming.
Really, it’s too early for banshee noises.
7:30
First Period:
ME: Please copy the information off the board. You will need it for final exams.
STUDENT: Now?
ME: Yes
STUDENT: Myself?
ME: Yes
STUDENT: Off the board?
ME: Yes
STUDENT: All of it?
ME: Yes— It’s only five sentences.
STUDENT: But it’s May and I didn’t bring anything to write with.
ME: When did this become acceptable?
STUDENT: I don’t know— it’s May.
8:30
Second Period:
ME: Please copy the information off the board. You will need it for final exams.
STUDENT: What?
ME: Huh?
STUDENT: What?
ME: I do not understand your question.
STUDENT: (Seriously confused) It’s May. Why are we copying stuff off the board?
ME: Because you need it for the final.
STUDENT: But it’s May.
ME: So you said.
STUDENT: This is so weird, Miss.
8:40
Overheard conversation about seniors pulling prank. Please Lord let said prank happen on a hallway other than mine.
9:30
Third Period
ME: Please copy the information off the board. You will need it for final exams.
FOUR STUDENTS IN PERFECT UNISON: I don’t have paper.
ME: (glaring in silence)
Weirdly, problem gets solved.
10:05
ME: Where are your notes?
STUDENT: So you were serious when you said write that down? I thought you being sarcastic. You know, you really are sarcastic. Maybe you should work on that this summer.
10:22
Ankles hurt. New strappy sandals now “church shoes”.
10:30
Fourth Period:
ME: Copy the information off the board. You will need it for final exams.
STUDENT: So we really have to, right?
ME: Yes
STUDENT: Or what?
ME: Or I will stab you in the face with a dry erase marker.
STUDENT: Literally?
ME: Maybe— do you want to chance it?
STUDENT: Not really
11:30
Lunch
Noon
TEACHER’S LOUNGE
Bell Rings.
No one gets up. We stare at each other for three minutes before anyone moves.
12:08
Fifth Period:
ME: Just copy the information off the board. It’s on your final.
STUDENT: We have a final in here?
ME: Last time I checked. That’s why you got a REVIEW SHEET two weeks ago.
STUDENT: Calm down Miss. I assumed it was just a suggestion.
12:22
Shall burn shoes tonight.
12:48
Word on the street is administration confiscated two rabbits, ten lizards, and a box of crickets from a senior locker after reports of mysterious chirping on the “C” hall.
12:52
Fire Drill!!!
Three minutes before bell.
Really admin? Really? I’m off next period . . .
1:04
Bell hasn’t sounded to return. Teenage thrill of getting out of class replaced with realization standing on concrete by the football stadium in Texas May is about as close as anyone wants to get to hell.
1:12
Math Teacher organizing a “sick out” over fire drill, in May, two days before final exams begin.
1:28
We’ve been outside for over a half hour: this isn’t a drill.
1:32
Shoes off. Barefoot on sidewalk. No longer care.
1:34
PRINCIPAL: Why are your shoes off?
ME: Why are we outside?
PRINCIPAL: Trash can fire in the boy’s restroom.
ME: For real?
PRINCIPAL: Yeah
ME: That’s why you make the big bucks, right?
PRINCIPAL: Don’t even go there . . . as soon as the Fire Marshall shows up and declares we put the fire out ourselves we can go inside.
1:40
Still outside.
1:48
Limp back to building. My conference period is a whopping seven minutes.
2:00
Seventh Period:
ME: See the board? Copy it. Stuff is on your final. I’m done.
STUDENT: You don’t look so good, Miss.
ME: My eyes hurt from my shoes.
STUDENT: That doesn’t make sense.
ME: Nothing today makes sense.
STUDENT: Some days are like that. But on the bright side, at least those are just crickets by your trashcan and not lizards!
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The visualization of your line "Or I will stab you in the face with a dry erase marker" left me cracking up for the rest of your drama.
You missed a calling as a stand up comedian.
Thank you I needed that!