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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: At Witís End (02/13/14)

TITLE: Absolutely Real-to-Life Adventures Educating the Public
By Karen Locklear
02/19/14


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(Random day at any given high school in May, from the journal of any secondary given teacher in May.)

7:00
The caffeine hasnít kicked in, the copier isnít working, and the idea of dealing with sixteen-year-olds who are already mentally on vacay hurts my head.

But I bought new strappy sandals Saturday and they are quite beautiful on my feet. Summer here I come!

7:02
Canít deal with malfunctioning copier without cursing. Shall improvise.

Shoes are still awesome.

7:20
Information is on the board. Kids barreling down the hall screaming.

Really, itís too early for banshee noises.

7:30
First Period:
ME: Please copy the information off the board. You will need it for final exams.
STUDENT: Now?
ME: Yes
STUDENT: Myself?
ME: Yes
STUDENT: Off the board?
ME: Yes
STUDENT: All of it?
ME: Yesó Itís only five sentences.
STUDENT: But itís May and I didnít bring anything to write with.
ME: When did this become acceptable?
STUDENT: I donít knowó itís May.

8:30
Second Period:
ME: Please copy the information off the board. You will need it for final exams.
STUDENT: What?
ME: Huh?
STUDENT: What?
ME: I do not understand your question.
STUDENT: (Seriously confused) Itís May. Why are we copying stuff off the board?
ME: Because you need it for the final.
STUDENT: But itís May.
ME: So you said.
STUDENT: This is so weird, Miss.

8:40
Overheard conversation about seniors pulling prank. Please Lord let said prank happen on a hallway other than mine.

9:30
Third Period
ME: Please copy the information off the board. You will need it for final exams.
FOUR STUDENTS IN PERFECT UNISON: I donít have paper.
ME: (glaring in silence)

Weirdly, problem gets solved.

10:05
ME: Where are your notes?
STUDENT: So you were serious when you said write that down? I thought you being sarcastic. You know, you really are sarcastic. Maybe you should work on that this summer.

10:22
Ankles hurt. New strappy sandals now ďchurch shoesĒ.

10:30
Fourth Period:
ME: Copy the information off the board. You will need it for final exams.
STUDENT: So we really have to, right?
ME: Yes
STUDENT: Or what?
ME: Or I will stab you in the face with a dry erase marker.
STUDENT: Literally?
ME: Maybeó do you want to chance it?
STUDENT: Not really

11:30
Lunch

Noon
TEACHERíS LOUNGE

Bell Rings.

No one gets up. We stare at each other for three minutes before anyone moves.

12:08
Fifth Period:
ME: Just copy the information off the board. Itís on your final.
STUDENT: We have a final in here?
ME: Last time I checked. Thatís why you got a REVIEW SHEET two weeks ago.
STUDENT: Calm down Miss. I assumed it was just a suggestion.

12:22
Shall burn shoes tonight.

12:48
Word on the street is administration confiscated two rabbits, ten lizards, and a box of crickets from a senior locker after reports of mysterious chirping on the ďCĒ hall.

12:52
Fire Drill!!!
Three minutes before bell.
Really admin? Really? Iím off next period . . .

1:04
Bell hasnít sounded to return. Teenage thrill of getting out of class replaced with realization standing on concrete by the football stadium in Texas May is about as close as anyone wants to get to hell.

1:12
Math Teacher organizing a ďsick outĒ over fire drill, in May, two days before final exams begin.

1:28
Weíve been outside for over a half hour: this isnít a drill.

1:32
Shoes off. Barefoot on sidewalk. No longer care.

1:34
PRINCIPAL: Why are your shoes off?
ME: Why are we outside?
PRINCIPAL: Trash can fire in the boyís restroom.
ME: For real?
PRINCIPAL: Yeah
ME: Thatís why you make the big bucks, right?
PRINCIPAL: Donít even go there . . . as soon as the Fire Marshall shows up and declares we put the fire out ourselves we can go inside.

1:40
Still outside.

1:48
Limp back to building. My conference period is a whopping seven minutes.

2:00
Seventh Period:
ME: See the board? Copy it. Stuff is on your final. Iím done.
STUDENT: You donít look so good, Miss.
ME: My eyes hurt from my shoes.
STUDENT: That doesnít make sense.
ME: Nothing today makes sense.
STUDENT: Some days are like that. But on the bright side, at least those are just crickets by your trashcan and not lizards!


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This article has been read 503 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD Swanson 02/24/14
Nice creative entry! Humor infused with realities of "teaching"--nice job!

God bless~
Lois Farrow02/24/14
Nice entry and a fun read.
Toni Hammer 02/26/14
I have a number of teacher friends and this is spot on. Creative and fun. I really enjoyed it.
Brenda Rice 02/26/14
Very creative and humorous. Thank you for sharing.
Judy Sauer 02/27/14
Congratulations on 1st place !!! How exciting for you. Your entry is humorous, engaging, realistic, and many more adjectives that elevated you to 1st place. Job well done.
Danielle King 02/27/14
Oh I love this humourous writing. Clever and out of the box for sure. Congratulations on your well deserved win.
CD Swanson 02/27/14
Congratulations!

God bless~
Linda Goergen02/27/14
Oh, this was so comical and such an entertaining read! Congratulations on your well deserved win!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/27/14
This is really brilliant. You had me giggling the whole time. Congratulations on a well-deserved win.
Bea Edwards 02/27/14
Brilliant and hilarious.
The visualization of your line "Or I will stab you in the face with a dry erase marker" left me cracking up for the rest of your drama.
You missed a calling as a stand up comedian.
Thank you I needed that!
Elizabeth Baize 03/01/14
Congratulations!! Your creative format and the real-to-life content made this a great read.
Tracy Nunes 03/25/14
I too loved this line: "Or I will stab you in the face with a dry erase marker." As a mom and a former homeschooler, I could relate more than I should admit. This was a very funny and engaging story. This format can be tricky but you executed it with great style and humor. Loved it.