Life sure has been crazy this past month. I never thought Mom would really leave. Sure, life could get pretty weird, but we were a family. I know she expected all three of us kids to go with her, but who would look after Dad? Somebody has got to look after Dad.
I guess I've always been like that. I mean, I've always been the one to pick whatever gets left behind. I remember when we had to go live with Grandma and Grandpa for a while. Jack wanted the new bed (it was bigger). I wanted it too, but I felt sorry for the little bed that I'd always slept in, so I said that I wanted it.
I don't really want to be here, but Jack and Hannah were packing their bags and I knew I couldn't leave Dad all alone. The day they left was the saddest day of my life.
Mom said that she was at her wit's end dealing with Dad. Some of the stuff he does really is tough to deal with, but that's what love is all about, right? I mean, we forgive and we keep on loving.
I'm only eleven, God. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to look after Dad. Don't get me wrong. I really couldn't love him any more, but I'm just a kid.
Yesterday, while doing a math test, I got this call over the intercom to come to the office. Everyone looked at me kind of embarrassed like. The only reason that kids get called out of class is when a family member dies or something. So there was Dad standing outside the office, “Hey, wanna skip school and go skiing?” he asked.
“Sorry Dad, I'm in the middle of a test. I gotta get back to class,” I answered. He looked so sad. Part of me just wanted to go to make him happy, but someone around here has to be responsible.
Just last week we ran out of gas. He pulled a gas can out of the trunk and said we had to go knock on doors and ask people if they had any to spare. I begged him to let me stay in the car, but he said that people would be more likely to give gas if they saw me there too. Groan! Sometimes I wish the ground would just open up and swallow me.
So, God, would you please help Mom to forgive Dad, and have her come back so we can be a family again?
Your little girl,
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