The Official Writing Challenge
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02/23/14
Sad story told beautifully.

I wish, perhaps, just one more of Dad's incidents had been described--maybe what was the last straw for Mom.

I liked the fact that Becky wasn't just having a "why me?" whine-fest with God. She still sounded like an eleven year old, but like a mature eleven year old; one who has had to deal with a lot more than they should need to.
02/23/14
Aw, this is a tenderly written, sweet but sad story. You portrayed a caring and mature eleven year old beautifully. So mom really must have been at her wit's end to walk out. I'd love the tale to continue to a happy reunion, but life's not always like that, is it. Great job at connecting with the reader.
02/23/14
Growing up in a house of family dysfunction is no laughing matter. You wrote a somber piece about how the oldest always feels the burden of caretaker. Made me think of my oldest sister. You kept my interest which is important for readers. Good job.
02/23/14
Sad POV of a child who is being denied her childhood and thrust into decisions she should never have to make - yet with the maturity to ask for God's wisdom in the whole scenario. Well done.
What a trooper. She has my heart ...
What a trooper. She has my heart ...
What a trooper. She has my heart ...
What a trooper. She has my heart ...
02/24/14
Profoundly powerful and sobering piece. To be robbed of childhood and faced with "responsibilities" that most adults can fail at, and yet with the infinite wisdom the child handled it with aplomb, by the grace of God.

Excellent piece.

God bless~

Very creative piece that describes an all often too true situation for a lot of young people. Good job!
This was a wonderful story, Rachel. It is well written.
Your story tells the tale of so many kids in this world. In my own family there are so many of the children smarter and more responsible than their parents. It's sad.
I really enjoyed how you told the story in the form of a prayer. The middle kind of got away from that concept a little, but you brought it back wonderfully. Great job!
By the way, how did you get italics to stay in your story when you posted it? I copy and paste. Is there a better way to do it?
Dusty
02/25/14
Oh my word, you packed a lifetime of reality in this short story.
Congratulations on ranking 6 in your level and 25 overall! The highest rankings can be found on the message boards. Happy Dance!!