The Official Writing Challenge
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Fun little romance going on here and you’ve told it well. A small bump, a very small bump, for me had to do with Brian on the fence. The way you stated it, I pictured him sitting on the ground with his back resting against the post (“trusting the wooden fencepost behind him”). But then apparently he’s suddenly on top of the rail (“nearly toppled off his fencepost perch”). Also I would’ve liked to have known more about how Aiden and Mila are bookends. Keep up the good storytelling!
02/11/14
Interesting story that left me wanting to know more. Why are Aiden and Mila at odds—what broke up the Aiden/Mila bookends? Why did Mila think his sword was cursed, etc. I felt like I got an appetizer and now want the meal. Really enjoyed the bit I read.