The Official Writing Challenge
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Good descriptive short story that lead towards a good application.

It seemed easy to read and follow.
02/01/14
You put a lot of effort into this article.

I, however, found it hard to get into your words. It may be reader comprehension, writer wording, or a combination of these elements.

When looking up how to quote scripture, the translation should be noted.

We all ready various bible translations. If someone wants to delve deeper into the Word based on a quote in your story, following industry guidelines helps the reader, the writer, and adheres to the proper use of quoting scripture.

Keep writing.
02/04/14
Thank you for this piece that I really enjoyed reading. Nicely done.

God bless~
Congratulations on ranking 10 in your level and 33 overall. (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.) Happy Dance!
I think you did a great job on this. You did a nice job of pacing the story by using incomplete sentences. Normally, I'm not a fan of that, but it worked. It made me picture young, preteen boys doing only what a carefree kid would do. Congratulations on a great message in an interesting story.