The Official Writing Challenge
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One thing I noticed on the content side was the 70 centuries mentioned. The length of the exil was the 70 years while the time spent in Egypt was the 400 years.

For me, it seemed to have "extra information" that slowed the reading. The information, though, seemed correct as related to the tribe.

Maybe it needed more spacing as I read it. Maybe shorter paragraphs.
02/01/14
To make your story easier to read, add hard returns to make paragraphs stand separately from each other. Also, when quoting scripture, include the translation such as Matthew 7:7 NIV

The use of segues makes it easier for readers to recognize when you transition from teaching to the story. You wrote: "a beautiful message of hope from above. Anna lived in gloom for a long time." A simple shift might be "to illustrate hope from above, consider Anna. Anna lived in gloom for a long time.

The same is true from going from the story to teaching. Another opportunity is when your story reads: "darkness fell upon Asher for seven centuries. Darkness is the absence of light." A seque such as ...Asher for seven centuries. What is darkness? It is the absence of light...

Your beautiful prayer at the end gets lost in how the text transmitted.

You have much to add. Keep it up.
02/04/14
You've managed to pack so much info into this entry. Thank you for your beautiful peaceful prayer at the end.

God bless~