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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Light at the End of the Tunnel (01/23/14)

TITLE: Slow Fall
By Jody Day


Hump Day lunch with my prayer posse is the highlight of my week. I’m late. I snag the parking space closest to the restaurant front door. Sweet. My thoughts ping to the blessed favor of the Lord as I slide out of my car and take a step toward the door.


Yep, going down. Hmmm, taking awhile. Thwack, my bad knee meets concrete. Why doesn’t it hurt? Must be a dream, because I’m still on my way down. I wonder, should I use my hands or roll to the side?

Now I feel the knives in my knee and wonder what else is going to hurt when I finally make full body contact. White hot flashes form concentric circles in my line of vision. The circles swirl into a tunnel. Dizzy.

The restaurant door opens. Sweet and sour chicken fragrance wafts into the tunnel. Two grown men walk out the door and look at me. Their mouths move. Distorted sounds reach my ears. Toothpicks bob up and down.

I’m almost to the concrete. How embarrassing. At least there will be someone to help me up when this eternal floating finally stops. The heroes are so close I can see the whites of their eyes and smell their oily work clothes.

Thud. Sprawl. The tunnel swirls faster and changes colors. I wait a bit for my heroes to assist me. My eyes play tricks. The heroes get farther away, not closer. I’ll just wait a second more, get my bearings. How will I ever thank them?

No. They walk away. Saunter to the end of the tunnel and disappear. I’m laying on the concrete. A hurt rushes in, but it’s not my body. Anger joins with the white hot flashes. I pick myself up.

Father God? Am I that worthless? So without value that men walk away from my accident?

Shake it off. Father God loves me. My knee will heal. I’ll go in to the comfort of my friends. I count my blessings.


Father calls my spirit vision to the tunnel, which now swirls black. A frigid wind whips me unsteady. All ages and gender walk toward me from some dark place. Haunted red eyes pierce me. Sad, slumped shoulders bend frail bodies. Fear leaks from their pores. Their hunger pounds in my ears. Why are they looking at me? I reach out my hand.

They’re looking for Me. Will you light the lamp for them? Will you be my arms of comfort? Tell them they’re worth more than sparrows? That I died for them?

“Ma’am, are you all right?” A woman in cartoon scrubs picks up my purse. The sound of her voice sucks away the vision.

Be the light.

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This article has been read 458 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 02/02/14
Wow - very powerful imagery and a great message. Super descriptions. Nicely done.
lynn gipson 02/03/14
Wow. I was amazed at how powerful this is. It had me right there with you every second. I felt the Holy spirit as I read this. What an experience.

Thanks for this beautifully written piece.
Graham Insley02/03/14
My disappointment in the two men reflects how well you drew me into your story. I apologize on behalf of all men for their pathetic lack.

You shared this with great emotion and skill. Well done.
Linda Goergen02/05/14
Very descriptive...it is strange how in an accident we often feel in slow motion, you captured that so well. Then love how God, takes the accident and an act of uncaring—and sends a message to care—the message to be the light! This was so well written it was easy to imagine being the MC! Enjoyed!
C D Swanson 02/05/14
Beautifully done my friend!

Excellent work, compelling and inspirational.

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/06/14
You did a fabulous job of making me feel the slow motion. That's quite talented. It's one thing to tell it, but you want further and it totally pulled me in. Great job on tackling the topic in the traditional way, yet your POV made it fresh and out of the box, again not an easy thing to do, but you managed it masterfully.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/06/14
Congratulations on ranking 10th in your level and 12 overall. (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.)